


Drama for Cash

by Sinnamon_Troll



Series: Miraculous Multiverse [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: M/M, Miraculous Multiverse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25188100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinnamon_Troll/pseuds/Sinnamon_Troll
Summary: After Hawkmoth's defeat, Marc and Nath take the Peacock and Butterfly miraculouses to become supervillains. Why? Specifically to get material they can use for their comics to earn money. Along the way they adopted Miriam, their seven year old daughter, and Marc got drunk and combined the Peacock and Butterfly to create Sigurd\Fafnir (their son) using the Dragon miraculous to store the amok. Warnings: Marc and Nathaniel are in their early 20's, married and sometimes make sexual innuendos at each other.
Relationships: Marc Anciel/Nathaniel Kurtzberg
Series: Miraculous Multiverse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824601
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been copy\pasted from a discord for easy archival purposes. As such, this is not a fanfiction and is not formatted like one. If an actual fanfiction based on this idea exists, a link will be posted below.

Feral Family Friend💖02/01/2020

Marc and Nathaniel become Hawkmoth and Mayura purely to keep interest in their comic series alive after defeat of Gabriel.

Feral Family Friend💖

pinned 

a message

to this channel. 

See all the pins.

02/01/2020

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/01/2020

Nathaniel and Marc, talking about the new issue of the comic: 

Marinette: Oh that's cool! 

Akuma actually shows up later that day

Marinette: D:

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/01/2020

They claim that this must mean the new Moth reads their comic

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/01/2020

Marinette: But you never published it... 

Later on discord

Hawkmoth: Haha jokes on you I do read their comics >:)))

Ladybug: JDJDJRJRJRJ how did you know

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/01/2020

Marc has a butterfly just sitting in the corner of the art room so he can "steal" ideas through it

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/01/2020

Marinette: Is... is that an akuma on your table?

Marc: Fake screaming Oh nOoO!

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/01/2020

Reverser shows up again

Mari: guess it can't be Marc, I mean it's not like someone can akumatized themself or something

Tikki: nervous sweat

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/01/2020

Marinette: Gabriel agreste was collector and Hawkmoth 

Tikki: yes 

Marinette: That must mean Nathalie took over as Hawkmoth when he was akumatized 

Tikki, sighing: no

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/01/2020

I mean it's a fair assumption on her part to be fair

He did have to denounce nooroo for it to work

Actually how is Nooroo in all this

I mean we know that Duusu would be all for this if Reflecdoll is anything to go by

Feral Family Friend💖02/01/2020

Marinete could know who they are

The Order popped in like "ok thanks for all your hard work we'll take your miraculous now"

and she was like UUUUHHH Hey boys do you want to make some money

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/01/2020

Oh god I love it

Feral Family Friend💖02/01/2020

Marc: What's wrong Marinette?

Marinette: The patriarchy is trying to silence me

Marc: Well damn let's go fuck em up

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/01/2020

Do Marc and Nath have an emo butterfly lair

Or do they just break into Adrian's house to use Gabriel's

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/01/2020

Adrien, Marinette, Nathaniel, and Marc are all in on it

They all know it's a publicity stunt

Feral Family Friend💖02/01/2020

because fuck those old order guys

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/01/2020

Marc: Yo, what's up. I'm the new Hawkmoth, and me, the new Mayura, Ladybug and Chat Noir are doing this as a publicity stunt. If you want to help us, great! If you don't, then you have every right to refuse. Now then, would you like to be my first akuma?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/01/2020

Plagg stays for the drama, and Tikkis in on it because her current holder has access to infinite cookies and you can take her away form that over her dead body

Lila gets akumatized a lot because 

1) shes always going to say yes because she hates ladybug

2) Mari gets to punch her

Feral Family Friend💖02/01/2020

Marc and nath also show up in public sometimes to fights because drama

And are like, team rocket over the top with ridiculous poses

**Images of Team Rocket from Pokemon doing silly poses**

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/01/2020

Marcmoth: prepare for trouble

Nathyura: and make it double

Akuma: Akuma that's right!

The team rocket speeches are too by time for Ladybug and Chat to "escape" from their traps

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/01/2020

Makes it so carapace can ONLY say Dude and Bro

So would Marc change Rena rages name? because I can't see him letting Hawkmoth get away with a name that lazy

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/01/2020

Marc: Shellshock, more like thE BUBBLER-

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/01/2020

Marc will get those turtle tears if it kills him

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/01/2020

Marc really be here going after Nino bc he wants those tears

This begs the question, does Nooroo do the same to Wayzz

Feral Family Friend💖02/02/2020

It just occured to me

Does Nino talk like that because of the Teenage mutant ninja turtles?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

That s why Fu talks all cryptic, if he tried to speak normally, welllll

Feral Family Friend💖02/02/2020

Woke: Fu talks like Master Splinter because for a long time he wielded the rat miraculous instead

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Pthhh

Yes

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Also Nooroo absolutely does it to Wayzz

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

on the age thing, I headcannoned them as in Lycee and since Luka's 2 year's older, that could put him in university, hence why I said Luka did porn for tuition money. He has the dick for it, might as well use it to pay for his education

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

I mean he might as well

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

thoughts on my idea?

Feral Family Friend💖02/02/2020

On Luka caming it for money? Seems legit

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

not camming. Was talking about actual porno movies

Feral Family Friend💖02/02/2020

This whole au takes place post-show so they're probably in their early 20's with Luka being older. Totally old enough for a legit company to hire him

If he does home productions, he has Hawkmarc and Nathyura guest star sometimes, but they have really shitty versions of their coustumes so people think it's a joke

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

My only gripe with the idea is if his music career takes off, someone is gonna make a big deal of it. "Hey! He used to do porn!"

Feral Family Friend💖02/02/2020

Luka: Yes. This person is totally telling the truth. Did they tell you how I had frequent threesomes with Hawkmoth and Mayura for money?

And like, if the videos get deleted because idk record deals, no one will be able to pull them up (at least not easily) to confirm

Actually do music industries care about that? You know, sex, drugs, and rock n roll and all

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

Some companies really care about image. When Britney Spears was first starting out, her whole image revolved around being a virgin.

regardless of whether it was true or not

same for Jessica Simpson (although the backstory on that one is way creepier)

on the other hand, those are all female examples. I can't think of a male act, outside of boybands, where they pushed virginity or purity that hard

Feral Family Friend💖02/02/2020

nod

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

and yea, some boybands, like the Jonas Brothers for example, had the virginity/purity thing pushed hard. I guess it depends on the situation

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Luka, @ record label: fuck you I do what I want Makes more porn videos

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

lol

I mean he was only doing it for university tuition.

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Originally, yes, but now he's just doing it to piss off the record label. If they fire him, Jagged stone is off to the side waiting to snatch him

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

the idea was he's in university studying for his backup plan in case music falls through.

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Fair

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

and used porn to pay for it

also, fun fact: Gay porn actors are paid more because there's not as many.

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Hawkmarc, talking to akuma: Hey, hey, you know the team rocket speech? 

Akuma: Yeah?

Hawkmarc: Alright so I have an idea

Later

Ladybug: ...Is that Meowth from Pokémon 

Nathyura and Hawkmarc: >:)

:00 cool

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

I just thought of something. Luka gets a record deal, and he has an interview on TV. The day before the interview, it comes out that he did porn and the media is treating it as a scandal. so during the interview he's just unphased and all "Sex workers deserve rights too!"

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Hawkmarc: Your feelings have been invalidated by the media. Time to show them sex workers are people too

Luka: >:) 

then you get LB and CN fighting an akumatized Luka who's barely wearing anything 

LB can hardly fight bc she's blushing too much and CN is teasing her

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

god yes.

lots of big dick jokes during the fight

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

He's literally just wearing the face mask

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

LB: Oh god I can see his Dick

CN: would you prefer it be inside you?

LB: stOP-

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Ok I'm gonna be the one to say it, what's his power?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Big Dick Energy

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

I was gonna say his name is Striptease, and his power makes people horny and removed their inhibitions

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Xjhfurj

He accidentally gets thrown into an elementary school

Hawkmarc: OH SHIT REMOVE THE AKUMA-

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Marcmoth: ABORT ABORT

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

Some little asshole being picked up from school by a parent: Daddy, I wanna be like that when I grow up! pointing at Luka in a crater outside the school wearing only a thong

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

BDJDJJRIRJR

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

YESSS

Wait so what's the Akuma vessel

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

the thong. gotta make it hard on LB >:)

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Jfjrjjrjr

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

I mean I was gonna vote ball gag

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Hawkmarc, watching the news: Dying of laughter

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Ok but, does he get a sentimonster

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

after everything is over

HawkMarc: Ok. Lesson learned. NEVER do another sex-themed akuma

Nathyura: At least people are less squeamish about sex now though

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Luka, walking down the street:

Fan: Oh hey, you're that-

Luka: porn star and/or sex akuma?

Fan: ...Musician

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

Luka: Yes to all 3 though

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Pthhh

Do you think Nooroo is aware of what his power is being used to create?

Does he know about Striptease?

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

Nooroo: eh. people were less concerned with modesty before the Catholic Church took power.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

All the stories of the Greek gods having weird sex was just people who were Akumatized

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

well, there's also lots of stories of people in ancient greek/roman times who just walked around naked, whether just as a normal everyday thing or as part of the Olympics

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

So is it safe to assume that Ladybug is coming for Marc after striptease is beaten

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

yes.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Ladybug: MARC! The fuck!

Marc: you all know what I'm about

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

Marinette: Punches Marc

Marc: What was that for?

Marinette: You embarrassed me like that on purpose!

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Marc: Me? I would never

Feral Family Friend💖02/02/2020

Since senti monster are, you know, alive, Does nathaniel get really reluctant about "killing" them?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Ok so I have a theory on this

There's the simple sentimonsters like Relfecdoll and lollipop man, but it's also possible to create more complex ones like Sentibug and arguably Feast

There both still sentimonsters, but the difference is like the difference between Markov and a toaster

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Hawkmarc: Alright battles over time to get rid of the sentimonster 

Nathaniel, petting it and giving it treats: what?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Ok but they create an actual meowth right?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Nathaniel: I love each and every one of my sentimonster 

Dusuu: But you have to destroy them to make new ones 

Nathaniel: Perish the thought

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Ok so idea, do you know how Steven universe gems work?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Yee?

Feral Family Friend💖02/02/2020

DOES he have to destroy them to make new ones? Feast existed the entire time while Mayura made new amok. Or is it like, per wielder?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

So they have to get rid of the sentimonster, but as long as they don't purify the Amok they can just summon it again

I think there can only be one active Amok

Feast did go dormant

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Alix: Nathaniel why do you have several blue feathers in your hair

Nathaniel: mmmm, no reason

Feral Family Friend💖02/02/2020

Art

Adrien can't come within ten feet of him without dying from alergies

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Past! Chat Noir: Yo where the hell is Gabriel Agreste 

Chat: In prison :) 

Past!Chat: wha-

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Gabriel was the first victim of Pun Noir

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Pun Noir: Hey can I go talk to Gabriel Agreste?

Police: ??? Sure?

Gabriel: What do you want

Pun: You're now cursed to only speak in puns

Gabriel: D:<

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Gabriel: This is Cat-astrophic.....FUCK!

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Pun Noir: >:3 haha bye nerd

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Nathaniel if he ever creates a sentimonster for Marc: this is our child now fight me

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Marc: But we can't make more sentimonster if we keep it 

Nathaniel: are you suggesting we kill our child??? D:<

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Akumatize them to cheat the system

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Marinette: Why hasn't there been a sentimonster in a week?

Marc: Nathaniel doesn't want to kill the last one

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Nathaniel cradling it in his arms: it's my baby how dare you

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Nathaniel: Aww soft baby

Marc: That's a killing machine

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

If Imp has proven anything, it can be both

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

Marc: Nath. It literally has buzzsaws for hands, drinks blood, and chants demonic shit.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

What emotion made this thing?

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

a number of them. It's a chimera

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Seems legit

Marcmoth made Timetagger, Alix pranked him so Marc yeated her through time and space


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been copy\pasted from a discord for easy archival purposes. As such, this is not a fanfiction and is not formatted like one. If an actual fanfiction based on this idea exists, a link will be posted below.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

So is Fu still around in this?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Nah he got thanos snapped during Miracle Queen

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Jagged gets turned into Guitar villain, but it's literally just so he can play a concert while ridding a dragon

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

lol

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Hawkmarc: in return you must get me-

Jagged: LB and CN's miraculous?

Hawkmarc: No, me and my boyfriend free concert tickets

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Ok but, they show up as Hawkmarc and Nathyura

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Audience Member: SCREAMING 

Hawkmarc: chill were just here for the concert

Nathyura, whispering: But... they don't know we do the attacks as publicity 

Hawkmarc, hearing police sirens: Shit

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Marc: FANG! Away!

GV: No

Also, so are we giving the temp heroes there miraculous permanently in this, or does Mari have them all

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

...It's your AU

in this AU< I don't think it makes much sense for them to not have them permanently?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

I guess they'd be given out? More heroes means less chance of the Akuma winning, which means Marc and Nath don't need to try and explain why they'd stop the Akuma

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Marinette: Ah,,, yes,,, I'm giving out the miraculous permanently so it's harder for Hawkmoth to defeat us,,,, hahah

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/02/2020

The way temp heroes are done in the show really annoys me. It takes so much fucking time that could be used for saving people.

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/02/2020

Also what if the person isn't quite sure on how to use their powers?? They get no time to practice or train

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/02/2020

Fu: remember how I gave you two miraculous with no explanation and watched you panic for your lives? When now YOU get to do that Mari

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/03/2020

So, Marc creating Akumas for completely mundane things

Akuma: so what's my power? 

Hawkmarc: cleaning my house

Akuma: wait what?

Feral Family Friend💖02/03/2020

Hawkmarc: Yeah uh, something about cleaning up the city. Start with this apartment though-

WOuldn't the miraculous cure undo all that though?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/03/2020

Ladybug: MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!

Marc: why do I even try?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/03/2020

But what if he just removes the akuma before she cures it. It goes back to him and everything stays the same

He almost always does it to Lila/Chloe too

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/03/2020

And when the house needs cleaning again, release an army of them

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/03/2020

Nathaniel: Walks in Why are there a bunch of strangers in our house

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/03/2020

Marc was lazy with the design, so they all just look like an army of identical janitors

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/03/2020

Marc: alright, you're done Removes akuma 

Everyone: ??? Where are we?

Nathaniel: Oh my god you dumb bitch-

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/03/2020

Marc: we all have our roles on the team Nathaniel, I come up with the dumb ideas, Nooroo explains why their dumb ideas, and Duusu convinces me to do it anyway

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/03/2020

Nathaniel: what am I then

Marc: the cute love interest, obviously

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/03/2020

Nooroo and Duusu just nodding behind Marc

Feral Family Friend💖02/03/2020

**Image set from “Ouran High School Host Club” with the main love interested calling the rest of the cast homosexual side characters**

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

so we since we know Marc feed off drama (and Ninos tears) he akuatizes Mari into princes justice

Feral Family Friend💖02/04/2020

This actually helps Marinette convince the tibet guardian guys that she is powerful enough to take care of this situation on her own without them interfering, or taking her miraculous to give to someone else

They play it like she defied Hawkmarc and broke control on her own

but it was all staged

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Hawkmarc: miss fortune, you wanna fuck with the patriarchy?

mari: ILL NEVER HELP YOU!!

Marc: rude

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/04/2020

The Guardian guys break in to her room one night to see how she's doing 

She's there chilling with Marc, painting their nails while their kwamis watch

"If you know who Hawkmoth is why are you painting his nails?"

"Uhhh-"

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Mari: Lucky charm said too?

College Sibling (Web)02/04/2020

guardians heck off

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/04/2020

Marc: Ok. Let me ask you this. Who has been harmed by me being Hawkmoth? No one. Have I ever tried to get the Ladybug or Black Cat miraculouses? No. I just want material for a comic

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Marc: you want me to bring Feast back? Cause I'll do it

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/04/2020

Guardian: You have the Peacock miraculous right now too?

Marinette: Oh, I thought Nathaniel had Dusuu right now

Guardian: YOU KNOW BOTH THEIR IDENTITIES?!

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Marc:.....ALIX!!

College Sibling (Web)02/04/2020

Marc: Isn't breaking and entering illegal?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Gonna need a Bunnix timeline fix

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/04/2020

Marinette: sighs You leave me no choice

Marinette: SCREAMING AT TOP OF LUNGS MOM DAD THERE'S STRANGE PEOPLE IN MY ROOM

L O U D F O O T S T E P S

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Cue Weredad 2.0

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Ok now I'm just picturing the guardians trying to make an attack on Hawkmoth,

And Marc just spins his chair around to face them petting Feast like a Bond villain

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/04/2020

JFJRJJRJR Nathaniel is sitting by the chair playing his phone

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

I like how this entire au was caused by a Miitopia costume

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Do you think Marc does the Hawkmoth villain monologues?

Hawkmarc: The sorrow of the oppressed, what perfect prey for my akuma....

Nathaniel: Are...are you talking to me? Am I suppose to respond?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/04/2020

Xjjfjrjr perfect

Nooroo is actually an evolved Theater Kid and so his dramatic speeches transfer into his holders

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Duusu: yeahhhh, this just a thing the Moth does, just nod and smile

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/04/2020

HawkMarc: possessed by Nooroo I'm an emo kid, nonconforming as can be. You'd be nonconforming too if you looked just like me! continues singing

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Pthhh

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/04/2020

Nathaniel, hiding behind the couch: Dusuu, I'm scared

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Duusu, whispering: put me back in the brooch, please

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/04/2020

Nathaniel: If I'm suffering, you have to too

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Duusu: let's just slip away before he asks us to make a sentimonster....

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/04/2020

Hawkmarc: Nathaniel, my sweet love and partner, make me a sentimonster to assist the akuma

Nathaniel: Fuck

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Nathaniel: become a super villain they said, it'll be EASY they said

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Stabby rip Stabby stab is the next Akuma name

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/04/2020

Stabby Rip Stab Stab

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

I can't read

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/04/2020

Marc: Nooroo. Why do I turn into an Emo stereotype when I transform? Are you ok?

Nooroo:

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/04/2020

Nooroo: Gabriel war flashbacks perfectly fineeeeeeee

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/05/2020

Nathaniel: hey Marc you want a drink?

Marc: YArdghhh

Nathaniel: got it

Feral Family Friend💖02/05/2020

An unfortunate side effect in this au, is that most birds absolutely effing HATE snakes

Luka: talking to Marc about something

Nathaniel: putting on his steel toed boots with a murderous look

Another one for the "weird things miraculous holders eat" Butterflies will happily drink blood

and tears\sweat

Which validates Marc bullying Nino for his tears

College Sibling (Web)02/05/2020

Nath no killing

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/05/2020

Nath launches himself at Luka. Luka just calmy, and fluidly, moves to bearhug Nath. And hugs Nath so hard he stops breathing... like a constricter snake.

College Sibling (Web)02/05/2020

Marc: Did you kill him!?

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/05/2020

Luka: Not yet. Just waiting for him to pass out, then I'll release him.

Luka: May still wanna do CPR if he isn't breathing after that to be on the safe side

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/05/2020

So Nooroo is a vampire now? Cool

Feral Family Friend💖02/05/2020

Makes sense why Gabriel's pale ass never leaves the house and has an elaborate underground cavern with a coffin in it

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/05/2020

It all makes sense now

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/05/2020

Adrien: Nathalie, where DOES father sleep?

meanwhile

Gabriel in the basemen: Emilie move over, I've had a long day

Feral Family Friend💖02/05/2020

PFFFTt

ok you gotta post that to tumblr

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/06/2020

Marc unifying the Peacock and Moth to create the most fabulous costume to flex on Marinette

Feral Family Friend💖02/06/2020

Yo so there is actually a type of butterfly called a Peacock Butterfly

it's the one where the spots on it's wings look like eyes

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/06/2020

Huh, the more you know

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/06/2020

Marc and Nath have a team rocket balloon, and it's literally just a giant nooroo head

Epsilon02/06/2020

do people know about kwamis in this AU, cause if not Paris is just extremely confused

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/06/2020

I'm gonna go with no? Because there's really no reason for Paris to know

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/06/2020

Also you know they would do it, JUST to confuse Paris

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

Hawkmarc: Welcome citizens of Paris, I am Hawkmarc

Marc: I have no idea who you even are

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/08/2020

Nath and Marc start vlogging to promote their comic

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

Hawkmarc drops down in front of Nathaniel while he's vlogging

"Heya cutie" 

Before jumping away

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/08/2020

just... vlogging about their comics that totally aren't based on this IRL supervillain in Paris guys. come on

and we're totally not the villains. we swear

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

Nathaniel continues on like nothing happened

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/08/2020

or when Marc's on screen, he has the butterfly broach hidden, but in sight at all times. Because if Nath notices, he'll bitch at Marc, so it's become a game for fans like "Spot the supervillain clue!"

The fans just think they're being extra about it

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

The butterfly is a motif of one of the characters so they just think it's from that

Nathaniel, vlogging: duSUU DON'T KNOCK OVER THAT VASE-

Everyone proceeds to think they have a cat

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/08/2020

They particularly think it's hilarious how, in the middle of akuma 'attacks' in the comics, Hawkmarc and Nathyura get down to it, much to the confusion of the akumas

Nathaniel: Why do our comic book versions get laid more than we do?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

Marc: I mean we can fix that if you want

Random Person: Wow, Hawkmoth and Mayura are gay! So they must be evil

Every LGBT ally and person in Paris: GUYS HAWKMOTH AND MAYURA ARE GAY ICONS WE CAN'T ARREST THEM

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

Marc, being arrested: I claim gay privilege!

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

Police Officer: Shit, gotta release him I guess

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

Gabriel never would've been caught if he was gayer

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

Marc, collapsing into Nathaniel's arms: I'm so sorry my love, I couldn't last against the brutality of the police force. All I can hope for, is that you will never forget me, and we may share one last passionate kiss

Gabriel and Nathalie from jail: Crying that was beautiful

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

Hawkmarc, at the next battle: does me getting away make you sad Carapace? it's ok to cry....

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

Nathyura: stop trying to drink his tears

Hawkmarc; Stop trying to kill Viperion

Nathyura: D:<

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

You know, with Nathura constantly wanting to kill Luka, that porno they made was probably very....unique

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/08/2020

Luka thwarted the assassination attempt by beating Nath with his dick

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

More at 11

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/08/2020

inches

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

Comedy

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/08/2020

I'm not sorry

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

It's the "Fights back against kidnapper, proves more strong than thought" trope

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

Are any of us sorry

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

no

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/08/2020

I saw my shot and I took it

it's a twist on that trope though.

The victim had a large heavy blunt weapon that couldn't be taken away

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

IUJFHNEUJ

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

HawkMarc and Nathura trying to recruit Chloe into becoming a Gay super villain

Also yes

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

"Join us Chloe!"

"I'm in jail for helping the previous Hawkmoth, no."

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

Marc: Just claim Gay privilege, worked for me

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

Chloe: shit who do I claim to be gay with

Nathaniel: Yeah, no one loves her

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

Queen Wasp: I've come for your miraculous!

Chat: ...Chloe?

Wasp: NO! That's ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!

Yes

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

Adrien, walking up to Marc and Nathaniel later: Did yall break her out of prison

Marc: Maybeeeeeeeeee

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

Marc: Mari I'm taking the bee miraculous

Pollen: what are you doing

Marc: redeeming Chloe with the power of gay

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

Pollen: As all good bees do

Marinette: what

Pollen: What

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

Ok but what's her motive for helping them?

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/08/2020

a chance to not eat prison food

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

Valid

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

Chloe: So who are you guys

Nathaniel: The gays 

Chloe: ,,,,Marc and Nathaniel???

Marc: Damn that obvious

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

Marc used his gang connections to get her out of prison

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/08/2020

jsnfj valid

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/08/2020

Chloe: so how DID you get me out of prison?

Marc: I know a guy

Chloe: that explains literally nothing tho?

Nathaniel: it never does...

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/13/2020

Marc: "Do you think when butterflies are in love that they feel humans in their stomach?" 

Nathaniel: "Marc. Darling. Honey. Love of my life. What the fuck?"

Bigfoot (Vee)02/13/2020

Nathaniel: "Its two in the morning go to bed."

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/13/2020

Nooroo: they do

duusu: what the fu-

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/13/2020

Mayura: Prepare for trouble!

Hawkmoth: Make it double!

Mayura: To protect the world from devastation.

Hawkmoth: To unite all peoples within our nation.

Mayura: To denounce the evils of truth and love.

Hawkmoth: To extend our reach to the stars above.

Mayura: Mayura!

Hawkmoth: Hawkmoth!

Mayura: Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light.

Hawkmoth: Surrender now or prepare to fight.

Queen Wasp:.....

Marcmoth: you have to say it

Queen Wasp:....Queenie that's right

you know what? we need a Villain team name, all three members are extra enough to have one

Bigfoot (Vee)02/13/2020

Dont ask me

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/13/2020

Hey Vee you have any ideas

Bigfoot (Vee)02/13/2020

Actually yes! How about!

I've got no idea.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/13/2020

I appreciate the input, but "I've got no idea" just doesn't quite role of the tongue

Bigfoot (Vee)02/13/2020

Yeah, other that that I've got nothing sorry.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/13/2020

T.L.E.G.

Bigfoot (Vee)02/13/2020

Which means?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/13/2020

the league of evil gays

Bigfoot (Vee)02/13/2020

Ha

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/13/2020

The LEG

Feral Family Friend💖02/13/2020

the leggy

show some leggy

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/13/2020

Hawkmarc: Fry an eggy on my leggy

Nathyura, LB, and CN: Really?? In front of my salad??

Bigfoot (Vee)02/13/2020

Ha

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/13/2020

You forgot Queen Bee

Feral Family Friend💖02/13/2020

She's hoping if she denies it's happening long enough, it will stop

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

Hawkmarc, mad with power and Noro insanity, INSISTS that T.L.E.G must always show the maximum amount of leg at all times. Booty shorts are now a uniform

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

Nathaniel: Marc you've gone mad with power 

Marc: of course I've gone mad with power, have you ever tried going mad without power? NO ONE LISTENS TOO YOU!!

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

oh I like that

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

is Chloe also in booty shorts

**Several pages of booty shorts and speedos that are bee or peacock themed**

**Several images of butterfly themed stripper outfits**

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

All the heroes think that T.L.E.G. Is an actual threat, mean while Nathaniel, Chloe, Duusu, Nooroo and Pollen are planning a intervention for Marc's booty short madness

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

Marc: Look, all RESPECTABLE villain teams have uniforms!

What are you saying, Noro inspired all this

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

Nooroo is playing both teams

After Gabriel he's having some fun

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

Gabriel was never insane, Noro was influencing him the entire time-

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

I actually saw a theory about that

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

Since his power is bringing out people's inner emotions and shit

Noro is a HUGE "be free express yourself!" kwami

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

True

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

Nathaniel and Chloe refuse to go out in public after this however, so the general public never learns about the uniforms

well, they see Hawkmarc's

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

The thing is, Chloe can't actually do anything long range, so is she just sitting in the Emo butterfly lair chatting with pollen?

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

probably

The order: Ah yes, we can see Hawkmoth embodies a true threat to society. Homosexuals

Ladybug and Chat: NO

(I mean, they're from 200+ years ago and were super secluded before that so they likely don't have progressive views)

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

That actually makes a lot of sense

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

(of course they're also Not White and the whole homosexuality is bad thing is mostly a western lens thing to my knowledge)

(pre-modern era)

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

So I have a scenario, Do Marc and Chloe ever pull a Miracle queen

And if so what do they do with an entire city under their control

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

Re-enact the entire plot of the "Cats" Musical with Chatnoir as the lead

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

Ladybug is the only one not cursed, she's tied too a chair forced to watch

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

Psychological torture

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

They leak the footage on the internet after

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

They could also de Le Mis since it's France

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

True

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

Marc: "Oh, don’t worry. I have a permit."

Marc: hands a slip of paper

OfficerRoger: "This just says "I do what I want”."

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

Marc: yeah but it's signed by hawkmoth. See the butterfly sitcker?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

Nathaniel, picking Marc up from the station: I'm here for my idiot

Marc, arrested for suspected terrorism: I'm the idiot!

Feral Family Friend💖02/14/2020

In order to prove that she has a handle on the situation, the order says something like "you have a month to recover at least one of the lost miraculous"

They have Nathaniel "switch sides" for the drama of "lovers on different sides of the war"

hmmm MIGHT have an animatic that applies here

let me rephrase: have animatic, it might apply

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwPj4W0cjo8

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

Order: how many miraculous have you children ACTUALLY recovered 

Ladybug: how many did the order ACTUALLY lose?

Chat: OHHHHH burn

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)02/14/2020

So. where is Hawkmarc's secret lair?

I vote that it's in the ball pit of a family restaurant.

Kid: Can we play now? You've had the ball pit forever

Hawkmarc: no.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/14/2020

I'm pretty sure since Mari and Adrien are in on it, their just using the Gabriel lair

But also love the idea of Marc transforming, going to a restaurant, sitting in the ball pit, and just refusing to leave

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/14/2020

Marc: Walks into house Hey!

Nathaniel: Underbreath seven, eight, nine

Marc; What're you counting?

Nathaniel: the amount of butterflies in your hair. Currently, you're at 9

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/15/2020

Adorable

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/16/2020

Bunnix joins in on the shenanigans when she's not saving the universe 

Bunnix: Why do you two always do this

Nathyura: Eating popcorn You love me!

Bunnix: Jokes on you bitch, I'm aromantic 

Nathyura: Huge exaggerated gasp Falls onto Marc how could you wound me like this

The Youngest(TM) (UN)02/24/2020

Hawkmarc and Nathyura as a couple give me the same vibes as Cristine and Ben from Simply Nailogical

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/25/2020

Is it just me, or does Hawkmarc give anyone else Rita repulse vibes?

Feral Family Friend💖02/25/2020

Had to google that, but oh my gosh

He does NOW

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)02/25/2020

THANK YOU!

Feral Family Friend💖03/12/2020

Fortuno and Wildcat (and team) show up from another universe

Marc: gasps in delight crossover episode

The Youngest(TM) (UN)03/12/2020

Marinette: Staring at multimouse wha-

Feral Family Friend💖03/12/2020

Nathura: To Fortuno so you're in charge in your universe? What's that like?

Wildcat: Laughing in the background

The Youngest(TM) (UN)03/12/2020

Nathyura: ayyy since the cats are always bottoms are you the top

Fortuno: Laughs nO

Feral Family Friend💖03/12/2020

Chatnoir sees WC flirting with Fortuno

Chat: guess in any universe, Chat still loves his lady

WC: sees Chat flirting with an uncomfortable Ladybug

WC: begins slapping him with his own baton Don't be fucking rude!

The team has a whole speech a power point JUST for this situation prepared, after dealing with Buzzkill for so long

realizes this is THE WRONG TAB

fyUCK

The Youngest(TM) (UN)03/12/2020

lol rip

Feral Family Friend💖03/12/2020

face palm this is #drama-for-cash Marc and Nath are Hawkmoth and Mayura

WAIT

does the spanish math lady meme

Ok what I said is still valid because Chat and Ladybug are still a thing in this universe

Why is my brain so dumb today I have been away from college for less than a day

The Youngest(TM) (UN)03/12/2020

RIPppp

Feral Family Friend💖03/12/2020

So Hawkmarc attends the lecture and raises his hand

Hawkmarc: Is it sexual harassment to make your partner slash minion wear ridiculous outfits to fit your current aesthetic?

Nathura: I think we're going to talk about that "minion" comment later

The Youngest(TM) (UN)03/12/2020

Nathyura is a power bottom pass it on

Feral Family Friend💖03/12/2020

SOMEONE has to keep Hawkmarc in line

The Youngest(TM) (UN)03/12/2020

Bunnix, seeing Nathyura limping: oh? 

Nathyura: Don't be fooled, I still have control over him

Feral Family Friend💖03/12/2020

he has complete control. Power bottoms are in charge 100%

The Youngest(TM) (UN)03/12/2020

Hawkmarc: Breathes in bad idea

Nathyura: Continue and you don't get this

Hawkmarc: fuck

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/12/2020

Nathaniel: so, how do we spend the budget this year?

Marc: tank

Chloe: clothes

Marc: wearable tank

Nathaniel: why are people afraid off us...

The Youngest(TM) (UN)03/12/2020

Concept: After every battle with Chloe, they just take the bee miraculous from her and bring her back to jail, leaving until she's needed again

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/12/2020

Chloe just pulls a river song, and keeps breaking back into prison after a job

The Youngest(TM) (UN)03/13/2020

Hawkmarc and Nathyura regularly go to pride parades and they hit the protesters with their cane/fan

Feral Family Friend💖03/13/2020

Hawkmarc: What are you going to do, arest me?!

Police: Well....yeah

Hawkmarc: I'm a supervillain, Go ahead and try.

bonus if no one actually believes they're THE Hawkmoth and Mayura, just weird cosplayers, until Nath breaks out a Sentimonster

The Youngest(TM) (UN)03/13/2020

Someone: Hmmm those protesters are making me angry

Nathyura: go on, destroy them with the power of rainbow Gives him a feather

Someone: Places it in wallet wow that's a really dedicated cosplayer-

Sentimonster appears

Feral Family Friend💖03/13/2020

Hawkmarc actually DOES get arrested, and though he could easily break out goes along with it

This happens

https://sugar-peas-and-apple-bees.tumblr.com/post/612426183250968576

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/15/2020

Chloe, eavesdroping: What the fuck are they arguing about in there?

Nathaniel: You’re being ridiculous!

Marc: Fine! But if we get stranded on an island, I get the coolest coconut bra!

Chloe: What the fuck.

Feral Family Friend💖03/15/2020

Chloe: I got my miraculous for this

*original quote "I got my bachelors for this"

The Youngest(TM) (UN)03/15/2020

Chloe: Is being free from jail really worth this? Is it?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/15/2020

sees hot girl walk past

Chloe: yes, yes it is

Feral Family Friend💖03/15/2020

Hawkmarc runs a roomba fighting ring

Feral Family Friend💖

pinned 

a message

to this channel. 

See all the pins.

03/15/2020

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/15/2020

Ok but question we're all thinking, could Marc Akumatize a Roomba

Cheshire03/15/2020

If it has enough sentience like Markov, absolutely

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/15/2020

Marc would absolute go to Max with a Roomba and ask for him to give it free will

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/23/2020

HawkMarc: Google, how do I get revenge on those who have forsaken me?

Google: The best revenge is letting go and living well.

HawkMarc:......

HawkMarc: Bing, how do I get–

Bigfoot (Vee)03/23/2020

Ha

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/24/2020

Marc, filled with Nooroo madness: Yes! Uno!

Nathaniel: We- we’re playing Candyland.

Chloe: No, let him continue. I want to see where this goes.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/24/2020

Kid!Marc: I have to train for the Power Rangers.

Marc's Mother: I don't think they're accepting new members.

Kid!Marc: No, I'm going to beat them.

Bigfoot (Vee)03/24/2020

H A

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/24/2020

Hawkmoth Marc is Rita Repulsa and you can pry that fact from my cold dead hands

Bigfoot (Vee)03/24/2020

Who's that?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/24/2020

Disowned

Bigfoot (Vee)03/24/2020

Nooo teach me the ways!!

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/24/2020

She was the villain of the original power rangers

Bigfoot (Vee)03/24/2020

Ohhhh OHHHHH

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)03/24/2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lif5tVdxEN0


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been copy\pasted from a discord for easy archival purposes. As such, this is not a fanfiction and is not formatted like one. If an actual fanfiction based on this idea exists, a link will be posted below.

[ https://twitter.com/MiraculousKiwi/status/1227026484897951750 ](https://twitter.com/MiraculousKiwi/status/1227026484897951750)

Someone stop him he's out of CONTROL

College Sibling (Web)03/29/2020

cant stop wont stop

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/29/2020

I love this, so much

Feral Family Friend💖03/31/2020

Hawkmarc: Akuma's are CANCLED for the forseeable future, animal crossing just came out!

College Sibling (Web)03/31/2020

Which Villagers would the boys get

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)03/31/2020

Marc just takes over all the screens in Paris and announces this

Feral Family Friend💖03/31/2020

oh geeze, I really don't know much about animal crossing. This is the first one I've gotten to play more than one or two in game days of

College Sibling (Web)03/31/2020

same

Feral Family Friend💖03/31/2020

I know there are like, over 100 different villagers

College Sibling (Web)03/31/2020

yeah

Feral Family Friend💖03/31/2020

Hawkmarc sends this to Nathyura

**What if we put our froggy chairs together. haha just kidding. Unless?**

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/01/2020

Hawkmarc: God is dead and I killed him

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/01/2020

HawkMarc: I've drunk thirteen coffees and I'm ready to punch god in the face

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/01/2020

Nathyura: Takes sip of coffee who made this

Hawkmarc: Raises hand

Nathyura: You always make it so strong

Hawkmarc, shaking violently: I can see through time

Bigfoot (Vee)04/01/2020

H A

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/01/2020

HawkMarc: Alix the fuck are you doing!?,

In the burrow

Bunnix: how the hel-

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)04/01/2020

Chat Noir, drinking the same coffee: I don't know why this makes you so jittery. This stuff just calms me down and mellows me out (common in people with ADHD)

Cheshire04/01/2020

Marc is the one kid in class who bring a cup full of espresso and sugar and adds a five hour energy shot, one can of monster, and one more shot of the energy drink of his choosing.

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/01/2020

Nathaniel: Hey can I have some coffee

Marc: Yeah sure

Nath: Takes sip before spitting it out WHAT IS IN THAT

Marc: uhhhh Pulls out notebook and Flips to a page here

Nath: Why does your coffee have an entire damn ingredients page

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)04/01/2020

Adrien: Are you trying to replace your blood with coffee

Marc: You can do that?

Adrien: nO

Bigfoot (Vee)04/01/2020

Ha

Cheshire04/01/2020

Marc, already setting up an IV drip: What was that?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/01/2020

The end of this Au is just Marc finally managing to replace his blood with coffee

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)04/01/2020

and then immediately dying

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/01/2020

He becomes a god that transcends time and space

Bigfoot (Vee)04/01/2020

There are two types of people ^

Cheshire04/01/2020

Alix probably has to continuously use her powers to keep his dumb ass alive

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/01/2020

Oh I saw an Au like that

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/01/2020

Funeral

Nathaniel: I loved him, but he was an idiot

Marc, coming out of the casket: rude

Everyone: 

Marc: what? I'm god now

Cheshire04/01/2020

Goodness knows how bad Nath would be if she let his boyfriend kick the bucket

Feral Family Friend💖04/02/2020

rolling up with a glass of tea to watch the drama

Since the butterfly in this au more or less drives the user insane over time, they actually can't take it away because returning to sanity is worse for the person

Gabriel gets "visiting days" with norro under strict supervision

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/02/2020

Gabriel:.....

Nooroo:......

Gabriel:...so-

Nooroo: were not akumatizing your cell mate

Gabriel: damn it

Cheshire04/03/2020

Question: Do Marc and Nath ever have a Kwami swap in this AU? Cuz, like, Marc would be Extra af with the peacock miraculous. (and he’d totally learn fan language, just to flirt with a clueless Nath)

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

They both pretend that nothing has changed

Marcura: what? No I've always been the peacock what are you talking about

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

Maybe they switch periodically to prevent either one of them from going too nuts

because butterfly insanity

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

So are we going with full insanity then? I Thought at first it was just the emotional reaction to things being enhanced while transformed, like the Akuma

Like I'm fine either way just making sure we're all on the same page

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

Hmmm idk

Gabriel HAS been making shittier and shitter decisions as the show goes on

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Oh, Ryan theory time

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

But Hawkmoth is another level of Extra when he's transformed

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Wayzz and Nooroo mention that the miraculous shouldn't be misused right?

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

Dude monologues to an empty room

Yes?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

So basically using the miraculous like he has is basically causing him to end up more and more LIKE the Akuma, being un able to focus on anything BUT the causes of his transformations, "saving Emilie"

Which would explain how Gabriel went from "shit dad" to "I'm gonna hit my son across Paris"

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

So since Marc wants to create drama for his and Nath's comic, his personality becomes more chaotic to makes things "interesting" because the butterfly is about wish fufilment?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Yes

So basically just Marc, but even more extra

Butterfly makes you more focused towards your goals, which wouldn't normally be a problem...unless your a dick like Gabriel who literally wants one thing

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

What if the one thing you want is The Dick

Temporary butterfly Chloe because Nath needs a GD break

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Pthh

Does that mean Bee Marc?

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

her name is Monarch and I love her

Sure!

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Miracle queen Marc, he doesn't change the name or outfit tho

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

Nathaniel: so the comic has been going on for like 20 years now, maybe we should end it and start working on something else. 

Marc: NO

Nath: D:

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

They have six movies and two tv shows based on it

Cheshire04/03/2020

Can you loophole a miraculous? Like, Marc says that technically he ain’t using the butterfly for himself, because he wants the comic to keep going for Nathaniel’s sake. Or maybe the sake of some fans who love the comics and use them to cope with all the shit that went down. Like, could you loophole it?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

I mean, the miraculous can be tricked, Catalyst proves it

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

That's still desire though. Even if he's doing it for other people, it's still a desire to please\help people

Cheshire04/03/2020

So the butterfly just... always low key corrupts it’s wielders?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Eh, depends on what kind of desires are being enhanced

Like if your an asshole, it will make you a bigger asshole

But if you just wanted to help people, well that would be enhanced you'd just low-key be a saint

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

not corrupts, just drives them kinda nuts

or, alternatively, slowly turns their subconscious self image real

In his subconscious, marc wants to be more confident and out going. This manifests is Chaotic Marc

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

Bunnix takes Nathyura to the past for a small amount of time

They're chilling in the art room

Marc, super shy: Um, would you like a drink? I have a water bottle

Nathyura, crying: Omg you were so precious

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

Nathura: Aw babe you had a crush on me

Hawkmarc:We're married-

Cheshire04/03/2020

Oof. Can it be reversed? Or what if your subconscious self changes?

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

If you desires change, you change

So if Marc decided he wanted to be shy and quiet again, he'd become more reserved over time

Cheshire04/03/2020

Huh, sounds interesting. It also sounds like the butterfly needs to be wielded by a literal saint XD

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

so do the OTHER miraculous have drawbacks to long term use?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

I mean, there's that thing of the ladybug being useless in super cold weather

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

Bugs get sleepy during winter? That's a pretty big thing in fanfics

Feral Family Friend💖04/03/2020

I'm think more mental effects than physical

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Marinette has Natural hate of "destroying" things

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

Foxes adore lies?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Like she has a bunch of dresses that she messed up, but she hasn't fixed them because that would mean taking it apart first, there just in a box somewhere

Ohhhh

Alya no

Or I guess Lila as well

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

That's why she lets Lila lie so much :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes:

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Does that mean Fox Lila lies even more?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

P r o b a b l y

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Or like, on a bigger scale

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

Both

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

celeb Lila lying to the country for fame

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

O h n o

Hawkmarc: I've come to make an announcement. Lila Rossi is a Bitch ass motherfucker

Knight04/03/2020

Lmai

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Your acting like Marc wouldn't do the whole speech

Knight04/03/2020

Lmao

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

"She pissed on my fUcKiNg wife"

"Offscreen You're gay-"

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

HawkMarc: WASP! Your my wife now!

Queen Wasp: no

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

"So I'm making a call out post on my Twitter dot com!"

Hawkmarc posts something on Twitter at the exact time he says the next line

"Lila Rossi, you've got a small dick! It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller!"

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Ok but consider

HawkMoth vs Volpina twitter wars

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

Omg yes

Sounds exactly what they would do

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

And now for the horror

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

H

Horror?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

So Volpina 2.0 is an actual villain now

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

O h n o

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Which means that there is probably Ladybug/Volpina shipping

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

O H N O

"This girl keeps wanting me to akumatize her, I think she wants to date ladybug" - Hawkmarc on Twitter probably

Marinette talking to Marc later: Why have you forsaken me

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Lila: Trixx, fetch me a drink

Trixx: sureeee, puts tons off salt in it

Knight04/03/2020

Lila: what did you put in here it tastes great

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/03/2020

She has to have a salt immunity have you seen all the fics about her

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/03/2020

Trixx: i have miscalculated

Cheshire04/03/2020

Add pickle juice next time XD

Feral Family Friend💖04/04/2020

As someone who drinks straight pickle juice I am offended

Cheshire04/04/2020

Okay, but would you mix the juice with another drink? Because I feel like that’d be gross.

Feral Family Friend💖04/04/2020

Depends on the other drink

You'd be suprised what weird things taste good together

Like black olives, crushed twinkies, and peanut butter

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/04/2020

how did that end up in your mouth in the first place

Feral Family Friend💖04/04/2020

.......we really didn't have any other food in the house and I wanted a snack

College Sibling (Web)04/04/2020

sin hungry

Cheshire04/04/2020

Judges your food choices in Italian

Feral Family Friend💖04/04/2020

what you are willing to eat when you have no food and are hungry would surprise you

Cheshire04/04/2020

blood sausages are a thing for Italians, especially ones who dealt with WW2. I know this and yet still judge you because I’m a petty bitch

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/05/2020

So we were talking about mental Miraculous effects

And I'm just imagining tired Nino just with his limbs inside an oversized hoodie

Feral Family Friend💖04/05/2020

Nino bites people who startle him

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

Ok but can you just imagine going to church

And fucking Hawkmoth comes out and does the "service"

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

Nathyura besides him: Recording for a YouTube video

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

Ok so since all good things can't last forever

What does Lila do

Because you know she's going to snap and do something super evil

Knight04/07/2020

That depends...

Wait

How old are they?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

They're adults now

Knight04/07/2020

:0

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

Early twenties, ish

Knight04/07/2020

Crap

Nvm

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

What was the idea?

Knight04/07/2020

Nothin

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

K

So can the illusions of the fox be recorded?

Because if so you know she's using it to fake evidence of her "charity work"

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

Yee

Alya posted pic of her and Rena on Instagram

:0

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

Cause if Alya can create an entire theme park, Lila should be able to simulate another country in a field or something

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

Oh no

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

True!Volpina Lila is probably like, an actual celebrity

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

Oh boy-

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

Presenter: and now! Our special guest LILA ROSSI!

Lila: oh please, it's my pleasure

meanwhile at the Dupaing Chengs

Marinette drinking wine: BOOOO!

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

Marc, next to her: bOoOOOOOo 

Sabine, Tom, and Blemir; ????

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

Silver lining

This gives supervillain Marc the perfect excuse to kidnap Lila to use as a hostage for his "schemes"

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

:000 amazing 

But since this entire thing is for publicity and Marinette probably told Marc how harmful Lila can be why would he WILLINGLY give her the Fox miraculous? Or did he or Marinette lose it and it ended up with Lila?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

Hawkmoth managed to get it from Alya in an Akuma attack and gave it to Lila, but he was caught soon after before she could use it

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

Oh damn

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

No one knows Lila and Volpina 2.0 are the same person because miraculous glamor

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

Rippp

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

So Marinette doesn't believe for a second that Lila is actually helping people, but at the same time since she's using charities to become this big celebrity, she's actually giving them a lot of publicity

So while she hates it and wants to call her out, Lila is helping the charities, for entirely selfish reasons, which she does NOT deserve credit for but she still can't in good conscience expose her yet

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

Ripppppp

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

Yep

Ok we need something to mess with Lila now...

She's invited to "I'm a celebrity get me out of here"

She'd hate that

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

RIPPPP

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

When she first used the fox after Hawkmoth 1.0s defeat, it was to create illusions of fake Akuma battles to make Ladybug look incompetent

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

Someone tries to be a hero and throws something at the villain and gets Hella confused when the entire thing disappears

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

Pthh

Volpina:.....welp fuck

So since Marc is the future Hawkmoth does that mean he made time tagger

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

I imagine he made it cause he thought it was funny (random SoundCloud rapper kid) but then it accidentally started working and he went "Oh shit"

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

Bunnix: good thing you remembered that we needed to complete the loop

HawkMarc:....yes....I planed all this from the start! You didn't actually think I was going to steal the miraculous or something right?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

Marc, drinking a bottle of alcohol later at Marinette's house: I didn't think it would actually work I was just trying to make a SoundCloud rapper mArInETtE foRGIVE ME I'LL BE THE BEST MAN AT THE LUKANETTE WEDDING 

Nathaniel: I'm....so sorry, I forgot he was a lightweight

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

Drunk Marc akumatizes himself

Duusu: Ok! Now say "Dark wing, Rise"

Nooroo: Duusu no!-

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/07/2020

Nathaniel: Duusu I will remove your pastry rights if you continue

Duusu: D:

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

Nathaniel: good, glad we sorted that out where is Marc

Akuma!Marc: I AM RUM-VERSER!!

Cheshire04/07/2020

Does he turn everyone into Captain Jack Sparrow and make the only question they can ask, “Why is the rum gone?”

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/07/2020

He does now

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/08/2020

Marc: I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. the heroes are always sprinting, always running.

Marc: You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/08/2020

lmao

Feral Family Friend💖04/08/2020

Marc: Look at these boots (the boots are vivid purple with three inch spike heels) do these look like boots you run in? No.

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/08/2020

Marc's chaos levels: :chart_with_upwards_trend: 

Nathaniel's Patience: :chart_with_downwards_trend:

Feral Family Friend💖04/08/2020

Marc: Carry me, slave

Nathaniel: I'll carry you right out the door and leave you there

Marc: no babe I'm sorry wait-

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/08/2020

Marinette: why are you at my house

Marc: Nath kicked me out for the night. Said "I don't want to deal with your chaos tonight"

Feral Family Friend💖04/08/2020

Marinette: And you thought you were welcome here?

Marc: Look. I'm hawkmoth. You're ladybug. That kiiiind of makes me your responsibility

Marinette: slams the door in his face

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/08/2020

Neighbor who taking a walk: wha-

Feral Family Friend💖04/08/2020

Marc: Ok! But don't complain when the police call you to come get my EXTREMELY drunk ass out of the giant doughnut sign!

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

Dragon, Dragon sounds good

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

Marc: hey babe remember when we were having sex and i made a joke about putting a baby in you

Nath: ....what did you do

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

OC: Hi

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

Marc: dont be mad

Nath: WHAT DID YOU DO

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/09/2020

Nath: I CAN'T BE A MOM 

Marc: Because you're a boy?

Nath: NO BECAUSE MY ANGER ISSUES WILL ACT UP AND I'LL LASH OUT AT THEM

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

I like how Nath immediately jumped to "I'm the mum"

College Sibling (Web)04/09/2020

He knows

Cheshire04/09/2020

(When he gets older, they can call him Nana Nath)

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

I'm naming them Sig

And yes I have a reason

Bigfoot (Vee)04/09/2020

And what is said reason?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

I'm using the Dragon Miraculous

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

The only sig i know is feom jak and daxter

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

Sig is short for Sigurd, the person who killed the Dragon Fafnir and gained thee dragons blood

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

Who is a six plus foot black man

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

My reason was myths

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

He's also a super buff wasteland warrior

Im cackling imagination this

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

I'm starting to regret this name

But it was Sig or Sieg

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

Sig is good im just amused

What do they look like

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

Hmmm

Dark hair, and the amber eyes from the Dragon Miraculous?

Yeah that works

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

So kagami can't use that miraculous any more

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

Nope p

But I'm assuming Kagami is a bit busy being an Olympic fencer

Dragon!Sig is named Fafnir

Because I'm un original

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

Why are we giving nath kids today

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

Marc is also here

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

All that unprotected sex caught up with him

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

Wait, just realised how stupid that was

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

#reincarnated-pirates

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

I knowwww

UN can never find out I messed up

They can't reclaim the moral high ground

The media has a fucking field day when Nathyura gets recorded telling of a kid on a rooftop

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

What gender is sig

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

Boy

Cause Sigurd

Yeah that makes sense

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

I thought sigurd was a female Viking name

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

Sigurd was a guy

It might have been used a girl name as well but the one who killed a dragon was a guy

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/09/2020

Oh? You messed up? :eyes:

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

Unisex

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

The name might be Unisex

But I was referring to the dragon slayer so was picturing boy

So apparently the name was used exclusively as a male name

Unless google lied to me

Feral Family Friend💖04/09/2020

Seems legit that i dont know

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/09/2020

A movie or something probably used the name for a girl

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Marinette: Deep breath ok so what did you do?

Marc: accidentally made a kid

Marinette: accidentally? I don't understand, did you trip over or something?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Lila, upon realising that the new Dragon is connected to Parises malevolent Gays, makes a public response to the "poor child forced to follow such a dangerous lifestyle", and insults Ladybug and Chat Noir for not increasing attempts to capture the villains

Marc is ready to stab a bitch

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

i'd make a sigurd a sibling if i could

so he isn't lonely

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Eh, we will probably end up randomly throwing another kid at Nath in a weak or so

Seems to be a trend

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

he deserves a good family

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

True

What do you think Roy reacts to this

Wait

How do you think

Why did I say "what"?

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

I don't think he'd be impressed, but idk

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Roy: I'm so disappointed in you

Nathaniel: to be disappointed you have to be proud first

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

true

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Nathaniel: Marc I cant be a parent!

Roy: your right for once 

Nathaniel: this is my baby now, fuck you Roy

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

Nathaniel: maybe i'll get another one just to spite you more.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Every time Roy is going to come to the house Nathaniel just runs to the orphanage

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

just to anger him

but he's also happy, cause they're his kids

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Yep

When we eventually make another Nathaniel kid Oc, should make a girl, we keep giving him sons

Imp, Rainbow, Sig

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

they get a sis

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Marc carrying a toddler: NATH LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

Nathaniel: oh for fucks sake-

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

a little snake?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

I think we said Viperion is active?

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

i see

which ones would be inactive

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Plus if it's an actual little kid this time, maybe shouldn't give them a miraculous

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

yeah

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

The canon holders minus Alya and Kagami should be active

Kagami gave up the Dragon to focus on fencing, and Alya got the Fox stolen by Gabe

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

dang

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Sig has the Dragon now, and Lila is running around as Volpina 2.0

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

@Feral Family Friend💖 we gave Nathaniel a fourth child

No regrets

Her name is Miriam

And It's been five minutes and she's already down an eye

Chloe: I want to go home, but I'm worried if I leave you'll gain another child

Marc: kids don't just appear Chloe

Chloe: THAT IS LITERALLY HOW SIGURD GOT HERE

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

Miriam: Bleps.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Sigurd: girl makes a compelling argument, i vote she stays

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

oh goodness

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Chat Noir: sooo, who are you again?

Fafnir, Glares : Fafnir....

Chat Noir: Awww, he thinks he's scary

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

Miriam: Giggles.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Carapace: why do you-

Nathyura: no babysitter

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

Nathyura: Be nice to her.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/10/2020

Nathyura: No swearing or else

Wasp, cracks knuckles

College Sibling (Web)04/10/2020

they protect

Feral Family Friend💖04/10/2020

wow guys

On this very related note, always use a condom

Miriam isn't a senti-kuma, she's an actual human that Marc found abandoned on the street

Because people in real life will actually just....throw their babies away. Literally. In the trash. Or abandon them on roadsides

Which is very sad and awful but Miriam has good parents now

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/10/2020

Surprise Adoption

Feral Family Friend💖04/10/2020

Hawkmarc: holds the city hostage for money, donates it all to orphanages

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/10/2020

Hawkmarc, at a bank: Hey, give me your money!

Hawkmoth: I'm gonna donate it to charities >:D

Feral Family Friend💖04/10/2020

The true evil

Marc is the aniti capitalism

Cheshire04/11/2020

Also, would a Miraculous Ladybug heal them or almost heal them for a moment? Just enough for the hospitals to try and get Ladybug’s help?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been copy\pasted from a discord for easy archival purposes. As such, this is not a fanfiction and is not formatted like one. If an actual fanfiction based on this idea exists, a link will be posted below.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/11/2020

Ok so I have theory

Cheshire04/11/2020

She has to help, but unless given a direct order, the Kwami seem to have some autonomy

What the theory?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/11/2020

The theory is that since Miraculous cure can only fix something caused by magic, either directly like cataclysm, or just by getting smashed by a magic being, probably due to some limiter in the Miraculous itself

And a running trend in fanfic is that the cure can only reverse something the user sees as needing to be fixed

So if Mari believes the comas to be a non magic thing, the cure will ignore it

Cheshire04/11/2020

Hmmm, fair point. But then, does anyone find out? Or are they in comas until Mari gets the Fox back?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/11/2020

I haven't decided

I have however decided how to make the angst worse

Cheshire04/11/2020

Oh, shit

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/11/2020

So with Lila basically getting everything she's wanted it's only a matter of time before she gets bored right?

And we'll, with all her new free time might as well get some good old fashioned vengeance right?

Like say, going after that old enemy of yours?

Cheshire04/11/2020

Fuck. Shit. Fuck shit.

I mean, technically, Mari does have Marc and Nath on her side, right? So they’d help her out, at least

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/11/2020

If I can make Gabriel a menacing villain you can BET I can do it to Lila

Oh Cat, who said anything about the Comas?

I have much bigger plans

Cheshire04/11/2020

They’d help her out against Lila, I mean. But, damn. This has the potential to be reeeaaaaalllly scary

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/11/2020

I gave Lila an actual miraculous, you can bet I'm going to do something horrible

Cheshire04/11/2020

Tru. What would she do to Mari, though? Because I have an idea and it’s Not Good

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/11/2020

Oh, do tell

Cheshire04/11/2020

No, nope. I wanna hear your idea first. I don’t wanna accidentally make things worse

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/11/2020

Smart

But I think I'll keep the suspense for a little bit longer

Cheshire04/11/2020

Damn it!

If you don’t, I’ll...

I’ll........

THROW THE TEA IN THE HARBOR!!

Feral Family Friend💖04/11/2020

THROW THE TEA IN THE HARBOR???!!

gets my tea throwing hat ready

Cheshire04/11/2020

Wow... you are....... prepared for this. Huh. Why are you prepared for the second coming of the Boston Tea Party?

Feral Family Friend💖04/11/2020

I'm American. We're all given Tea Party Preperation Kits at birth

Cheshire04/11/2020

Why didn’t I get mine???

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/11/2020

You monster

Feral Family Friend💖04/11/2020

Maybe your parents are holding onto it for you

Cheshire04/11/2020

Oh, wait. Is it because I got the Ancient Roman Conquering Kit instead?

I knew my Italian roots would come back to bite me in the ass

Feral Family Friend💖04/11/2020

Could be. You can only have one freebie, you must apply for other kits

Cheshire04/11/2020

Fuck. I wish they’d stop giving that kit out. It’s not like any of us are gonna be able to use it. We don’t even have chariots as a thing anymore, who needs an instruction booklet for them?

Feral Family Friend💖04/11/2020

When society collapses and there is no more electricity, you will be prepared

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/11/2020

"So You figured it out again huh, this is, what? The sixth time you've remembered now...."

her, that vile voice echoing throughout this world again, across a Paris crumbling away In to the void, awaiting the next cycle...

"it's getting harder isn't it? Figuring out what's wrong? Making your memories return? You have to have noticed by now, every time you see through the lie it gets better, closer to perfection..."

its learning... this place learns from its flaws, fills in the holes in the lie 

"so go ahead Marinette, struggle all you like, every time you break free this world gets stronger, and soon, you'll worship me just like they did"

can't forget again... Lila is lying, she can't be trusted, this place isn't real, it's not real, it's not re-

"Mari? Your coming to class right?"

...yeah, ill be right there Lila!

Cheshire04/11/2020

........

Someone needs to strangle her with her own intestines

How would someone stop that, though?

But what miraculous would be able to help?

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Marc has a "I am not Hawkmoth" shirt

which they use as a comic plot for an issue so that it is real merch and not suspicuous

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Love it

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/16/2020

Amazing

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Marc, decked out in Hawkmoth merchandise: I am supporting my brand

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

LEG: we don't know him

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/16/2020

Nath, with Mayura bag; Your brand is going to get us killed

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Chloe is smug because she can wear Queen Bee merch and no one will question it

So the Guardians send Mari tips they have on the locations of magical artifacts

But to keep up the appearance of "their so evil" Mari tells Marc the locations as well

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Guardians: How did they know where to find the artifacts?!

Ladybug: sweating there must be a spy!

The guardians do an investigation and find actual spies

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/16/2020

Oh dang

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

because let's be real, all secret orders have spies

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Ladybug: well this went better then expected

But now the question is what should the artifacts BE...

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

other miraculous?

companion items for the miraculous? Like upgrades?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

I was thinking magic separate from the Kwami

Like obviously their gonna be given to the holders

But there not things that NEED to be connected to a Kwami to work

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

If y'all ever let me get away with my "Nathaniel is a Spicer bastard" COUGH SNEC COUGH plot they could be Shen Gong Wu from Xiaolin Showdown

Since it's canon that Jack Spicer's hair is natural and not dyed

and Nath has some unreasonably red hair the same color

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

I do not knOw what that is

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Jack Spicer:

**Image of Jack Spicer from Xiaolin Showdown**

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

the Shen Gong Wu are "collect them all" macguffins that all have different powers

One makes you invisable, one splits you into a "good" and "bad" self, various elemental control, one turns you into a monkey ect

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/16/2020

Oh wow

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

one lets you talk to animals, there's a teleporting one, uuuh super strength

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

I do like the idea of using some of these

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Nathaniel is Jack Spicers secret, bastard brother GO

(since the spicers are super super rich)

(can you tell who his dad was based off this entire time)

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Roy you bitch

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Snec said no but I did it anyway

So this means that the Monks will show up

which actually I always thought they were all annoying and bullies but they're the main characters so

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Mari throwing shade then

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

The monks are supposed to protect the Wu, and this is a saturday morning kids show to Jack is all like "Hah hah I am evil!"

but it's pretty much a bunch of kids with super powers ganging up to beat up an albino boy with no martial arts training and steal\destroy his stuff

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Wow

wow

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Then leave him to die injured somewhere as they fly off on their dragon like "Good Triumphs again!"

Yeah, I have issues with the show writing

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Ok so they work with the guardians then

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

of course this all "cartoon violence" so Jack is fine in the end but

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Still

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Then season like two or whatever Chase Young shows up as the Actual Threat and Jack has a huge boner for him

Which, fair

**Image of Chase Young from Xiaolin Showdown**

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Like, it's canon that Jack is into that (once again because ew evil gay but what ever.)

the (shitty) reboot gave him a daughter

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

So the monks are a large group right? Like the guardians but for the magic Mcguffins

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Yes

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

So there two parts of the same group in this?

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Though only the four main characters DO anything. All the other monks just sit around the temple doing jack shit

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

One looks for the miraculous the other for the mcguffins?

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Which actually was explained (in the reboot I think?) that the Wu are made by the monks giving up all their magical powers to make them

as a rite of passage because it is the "right thing to do"

and (in the reboot) chase said hey fuck that I'm keeping my magic , so now he's evil for not lobotamizing himself

(fuck the monks)

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/16/2020

Dang

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Oh my god it's literally the fucking guardians

"Follow our rules or your evil"

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

The maincharacters, who each have an elemental power. The yellow one (Omi) is water, shorter boy (raymundo) is wind, big guy (Clay) is earth, and the girl (kimiko) is fire

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/16/2020

Omg

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Same order, different branch

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

SO ANYWAY one last thing

Most of the wu are "inactive" for some fucking reason, so they have a dragon friend who tells them when a wu "Activates" so they can race against "evil" to go find it. The dragon can snese where the wu is

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

why is one of them a cosplaying Korosensensei?

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Jakc has Wuya, and ancient witch who also said "hey fuck you guys I'm keeping my magic" and tried to destroy the order

sdkjfsdf

She starts off as a ghost

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

So why does Jack want the Mcguffins?

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

That was imprisoned in a Wu Jack stumbled upon

He's a super mega genius and is bored, basically

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Ok mood

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

he builds all his robot minions himself

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Like any off us would have done the same

If your rich and find out magic is a thing you look for the magic

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Wuya later gets her body back

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Please tell me she doesn't do the whole "haha, I'm free now to betray you" thing

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

And abandons Jack because she was using him to collect Wu for that

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

DAMMIT

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

she does

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Poor jack

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

That's ok Chase (dragon man) low key finds Jack amusing and takes him in as an aprrentice

Since Chase is a dragon he can sense wu when they activate

OH this is Dojo, the monk's dragon

**Image**

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Didn't he eat them or something

He can choose what size he is so sometimes he's big enough to ride and sometimes he's pocket size

Yeah, Chase eats other dragons. Chase started out as human but eating dragons cursed him to also be a dragon

which....is not really a curse but ok

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

I'm sorry so the punishment for eating dragons, is to be able to turn into a dragon

Like maybe if he was stuck as a dragon SURE, but he clear,y can just be in what ever form he wants soooo

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

I mean, his dragon form is kinda ugly so maybe that's it? You can be a dragon but you're ugly

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Ok but if your only going to be in that form to kill people does it really matter?

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

shrug

SO backstory taken care of, Jack has no idea he has a bastard brother

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

The monks are assholes who work for the guardians

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

He finds out when he inherits the company (through probably killing his parents, he IS supposed to be evil) he goes through the finances and notices that Leah (Nath's mom) is still getting hush money about her son being Spicer Sr's son, so Jack is like "why is this woman getting money" and investigates and finds out about Nathaniel and is like GASP FREE SIBLING!

And goes to meet him, around the same time as Ladybug is told about the Wu by the Order

And because cluster fuck, while Jack is in Paris a Wu activates

(which is why the order told Ladybug?)

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Yep

So Team Miraculous goes to recover it

Which leads to LEG going to get it because "if Mari wants the cool magic thing I want it more"

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

They meet the Monks, and Jack and Chase show up independently because as smart as he is Jack can TOTALLY make a Wu detector if Bulma can make a dragonball finder

Which, since they monks have to give up their magic when they become adults, this means that Nath is the older brother at 20 while Jack is like, 17

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Neat

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Monks: I see evil runs in the family!

Ladybug: Mayura actually isn't evil

Where is sig in all this

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

I guess with LEG

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Jack: FREE NEPHEW

Jack spends a lot of time in Paris to connect with his brother, Chase comes to hang out because he's imortal and bored and Jack entertains him, the monks show up because if Jack and Chase are spending a lot of time in Paris they MUST be plotting something

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Seems legit

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Monks: So Ladybug, when do we get our own Miraculous?

Ladybug: Please get out of my city

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Pthh

Mari must be so tired of all this shit

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/16/2020

Rip Mari

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

So do they have control over what object is made when they give up their magic? Because if not I feel bad for the ants guy

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Idk

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

Imagine tho, you give up the ability to do magic and all that you get form it is "ants in your pants"

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/16/2020

Wow

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/16/2020

It's a thing

One of the Magic Mcguffins just puts ants in your enemies pants

Knight04/16/2020

Plagg fills Lilas wig with fire ants

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/16/2020

Fjjfjfjr dang

Feral Family Friend💖04/16/2020

Jack tries to be the best uncle ever. Sig is unimpressed. Miriam loves him

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/17/2020

Ok but Nathaniel when he learns that Roy is dead-

Feral Family Friend💖04/17/2020

Throws a party

Or at least has a drink

Feral Family Friend💖04/17/2020

ffff

Nathaniel: I'd like to give my father in death, what he gave me in life. unzips his fly Piss all.

Feral Family Friend💖04/17/2020

Jack standing behind him cheering

Oh hey

You know, if we want to destroy the monks

They kidnap Miriam to "save" her from growing up in a life of evil and within 4 hours the temple is raised to the ground by Scarlet HawkMarc and a Sentimonster army

Which justifies the order in " oh they're actually a threat that Ladybug needs to handle because the monks can't do shit against them"

And revaluate how much Ladybug and CN keep them under check.

Before they were like "why haven't you beaten them yet"

now they're like "oh shit imagine how much worse it would be with out LB and CN"

College Sibling (Web)04/17/2020

this is why we have them

also dont kidnap kids

Feral Family Friend💖04/17/2020

Monks: You destoryed our home!

Hawkmarc: YOU KIDDNAPPED MY DAUGHTER

College Sibling (Web)04/17/2020

Hawkmarc had a damn reason to destroy t

it*

Feral Family Friend💖04/17/2020

Once they get Miriam back, Nath cancles all his sentimonsters and Marc recalls all his akumas, leaving a TON of confused Paris citizens standing in the wreckage of the temple

Hawkmarc: pointing at the monks Blame them for this shit. They stole my daughter, I got her back. I will NOT tolerate threats against my family. I. Will. End. Them.

This is helped by cute Miriam crying and clinging to Nathyura, who is comforting her and glaring at them

College Sibling (Web)04/17/2020

they care her

Feral Family Friend💖04/17/2020

Seeing Hawkmarc and Nathyura like that reminds the paris citizens that "oh yeah these fun gay icons are actually super villains and dangerous"

There's a split between the people who are like "They destroyed a temple!" and the people who are like "good for them"

College Sibling (Web)04/17/2020

the people who say they destroyed a temple need to understand their daughter was taken

College Sibling (Web)04/18/2020

they had a reason to

Cheshire04/19/2020

She’d probably vote for an Akuma that makes kids eat their veggies. Marc and Nath would probably do it.

I wonder what veggies kids don’t like in France?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/19/2020

All kids of France grow to hate LEG

The parents have a slightly different response to the Akuma

So what's the official story to the public for Sig? Like I'm assuming Chloe pulled some strings to get birth certificates and all that stuff

Feral Family Friend💖04/19/2020

Marcnath civilian identities adopted him

Dumbass kids at school: Hah hah you're adopted

Sig: My parents are rich and famous

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/19/2020

Sig: at least my parents wanted me

Feral Family Friend💖04/19/2020

Dumbass kids: Oh shit now what

BURN

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/19/2020

Ok but that seriously is the ultimate adoption comeback

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/19/2020

Sig: [watches adorable, awkward Adrien flirting with Luka]

Sig: They're cute. I'd put them in a boat.

Nathaniel: What?

Sig: Isn't that what it's called? When you think people would be good together? They're on a boat?

Nathaniel: You mean you ship them?

College Sibling (Web)04/19/2020

Sig please

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/19/2020

Sig: what up, my names Sig and I never learned how to fucking read

Marc, wiping a tear: I'm so proud

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/19/2020

Are Adrien and Marinette basically their honorary aunt and uncle?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/19/2020

Gotta be

Their basically siblings now, and Marc and Mari are cousins

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/19/2020

Since Gabriel and Nathalie are in jail, I vote Marinette's parents adopt Adrien 

Either them or Gorilla

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/19/2020

Bold of you to assume they don't adopt Gorilla

Tom: how my brother doing!

Gorilla: confused grunting?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/19/2020

Bunnix: Hey you guys wanna look in the past

Marinette: Yeah sure

Scene of Past Marinette crushing on Adrien

Marinette: Choking sound Big regret that is my broTHER

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/19/2020

Alix is doing this just to troll Mari, and I love it

Also you just know she's the Aunt who buys Sig a Knife or something for Christmas

College Sibling (Web)04/19/2020

alix no

Feral Family Friend💖04/19/2020

bold of you to assume he didn't get his first knives from marc

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/19/2020

Nathaniel: Alix what the hell

Alix: he has a sword how is this worse?

College Sibling (Web)04/19/2020

He could hurt his sister

Feral Family Friend💖04/19/2020

Likely not. Expecially if Marc has been training him.

College Sibling (Web)04/19/2020

true

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/19/2020

Very true

College Sibling (Web)04/19/2020

plus marc is a responsible parent

Feral Family Friend💖04/19/2020

The only time kids think weapons are toys are when they just find them laying around. Interestingly enough, gun shooting and safety training has proven people LESS likely to misuse guns

I still don't think people should have them AT ALL

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/19/2020

But it's better then pretending you can hide them

Feral Family Friend💖04/19/2020

But training makes people less likely to abuse it

College Sibling (Web)04/19/2020

yeah

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/19/2020

Monks: they are evil monsters that will corrupt that child

Fafnir: ok, you raise a fair point, but on the other hand, Lightning Dragon...

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/21/2020

It just occurred to me that Sig is basically immortal

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/21/2020

Explain??

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/21/2020

Sentimonsters are low-key implied to be un killable, I mean reflecdoll survived a cataclysm, so I'm pretty sure you have to go for the Amok, which is inside the indestructible Dragon Miraculous

Knight04/21/2020

Atruct replied to a tweet or something that said in one of the episodes there was a mistakes

He said something was lost in translation and the miraculi are just really hard to break

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/21/2020

I mean Chat Noir broke the bunny miraculous so it's not impossible??

Cheshire04/21/2020

The Bee also got cataclysmed when Chloe was Queen Wasp.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/25/2020

Ok

He's as immortal as Voldy

Hey @Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc) were you here when we just threw two new Kids at Nath

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)04/25/2020

no

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/25/2020

We gave him a Senti-Akuma and an abused little girl

Also remember how Sin wanted to do the whole "Jack Spicer" thing

They did the thing

Feral Family Friend💖04/25/2020

you fucking narc

be glad this isn't mafia au or I would knee cap you for snitching

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/25/2020

This is payback for not backing me up in the marital dispute

Feral Family Friend💖04/25/2020

I wasn't even here and B. if you can't fight your own battles maybe you shouldn't be married

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/26/2020

Sig: Does necromancy only work on animals? What do you do if you accidentally necromancy a fence and then it starts growing branches

Sig: WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU NECROMANCY A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO AND IT TURNS INTO AN ENTIRE PILE OF LIMES?

Sig: What if I accidentally necromancy a vaccine and then someone gets an armful of very live pathogen?

Sig: WHAT’S THE LIMIT ON DEADNESS? HOW RECENTLY DOES SOMETHING HAVE TO BE DEAD? COULD I NECROMANCY A DINOSAUR FOSSIL? WHAT IF I NECROMANCIED THE GROUND AND THEN DINOSAURS STARTED APPEARING?

Sig: WHAT IF I NECROMANCIED A LIMESTONE WALL AND IT JUST TURNED INTO A PILE OF MOLLUSCS? WHAT IF I MOLLUSCED A BUILDING? A MOUNTAIN?

Miriam: Hey Sig, are you okay?

Sig: No

College Sibling (Web)04/26/2020

help them

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/26/2020

They were left alone for five seconds

College Sibling (Web)04/26/2020

This is why Sig isn't allowed to babysit miriam

Feral Family Friend💖04/26/2020

why is Sig suddenly interested in Nercromancy

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/26/2020

What, did you not have the necromancer phase when you were a kid

Feral Family Friend💖04/26/2020

technically no

unless you count it all inclusive in your witch phase

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/26/2020

As long as some form of black magic is being used it is acceptable

Feral Family Friend💖04/26/2020

So no then

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/28/2020

Lila: Marc! Nathaniel! I was looking for you, I want to apologise and was going to invite the old class to my home to apologise 

Marc: sure! Well be there

Literally a minute later

Marc: i will never trust Lila. She’s a venomous snake, waiting to strike. and you know what we do to snakes?

Sigurd: chop their heads off, remove the skin, turn ‘em into boots

Marc: don’t be absurd. who would want troll skin boots?

Miriam: you just said she was a snake

Marc: the devil comes in many forms

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/30/2020

Ok so Lila -bored out of her fucking mind- invites her old class to her mansion to "get rid of the bad blood between her and Mari"

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/30/2020

Does the class still believe her or nah?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/30/2020

In this Au Lila was never "exposed" but because of her lying disease they don't rust her promises anymore without proof

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/30/2020

Dang

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/30/2020

So Lila is still "friends" with the group, but she can't lie about them properly, and Mari can't expose her without looking like a dick

So the two just in a petty pissing contest basically

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/30/2020

Ripppp

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/30/2020

So the main purpose of this dinner is to flex on Mari that she's better then her

Feral Family Friend💖04/30/2020

Using a class reunion as a cover so Mari can't say no?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/30/2020

Absolutely, she's inviting the entire class to her "fuck you mansion"

Feral Family Friend💖04/30/2020

MarcNath haven't seen some of them for a few years, everyone having their adult lives and all

So Marc is happily showing pictures of their kids to everyone

Lila: So I have been-

Marc: interupts her by shoving a picture of Miriam in her face HAVE YOU SEEN MY DAUGHTER?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/30/2020

Lila gets upstaged at her own reunion

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/30/2020

Sigurd: we don't know him

Nino: you two are in the pic-

Miriam: fake news

Feral Family Friend💖04/30/2020

They don't bring the kids, most reunions are "don't bring you kids" events

which at their age any "natural" kids would be like, five or less

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/30/2020

This was more Lila inviting everyone for this big thing, but also do you think Marc wouldnt bring his kids to show off?

Feral Family Friend💖04/30/2020

Social etiquette says bringing your kids is rude af, but Marc doesn't care about Lila's feelings so yes

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/30/2020

Amazing

Lila: Adrien!!! You should date me! I'm sure I could boost your father's company

Adrien, who was adopted by Marinette's family: Oh you really haven't caught up, huh

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/30/2020

Lila: oh, I though I said no kids?

Marc, lying through his teeth: you said it was fine on the phone tho- OH is this your disease Lila, oh I'm so sorry

Feral Family Friend💖04/30/2020

heh

The Youngest(TM) (UN)04/30/2020

Iconic

Feral Family Friend💖04/30/2020

Not that Uncle Jack wouldn't be more than happy to babysit (though Sig is old enough not to need one) Marc is doing this out of pure petty spite

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/30/2020

Oh absolutely

Meanwhile upstairs

Longg: so you are stuck with the liar?

Trixx: yep

Duusu: oh poor Trixx

Nooroo: i should feel sad for you, BUT ITS NOT ME FOR ONCE! :grinning:

Pollen: tactful as always Nooroo

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)04/30/2020

Trixx: It's fine. I get to fuck with her on a daily basis.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/30/2020

Trixx constantly makes Lila think she's seeing Mari out of the corner of her eye to make her paranoid as fuck

Knight04/30/2020

With Mirage

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)04/30/2020

Yep

I like how I never mention Longg with LEG

He just doesn't question any of this shit

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)04/30/2020

Trixx also has a thing for setting up Rube Goldberg traps for Lila

Feral Family Friend💖05/03/2020

Marc keeps trying to get Nathaniel to wear like, super short skirts and stuff and nath is like what are you trying to say here

Marc: Look, your ass is too hot to be hidden in pants

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/03/2020

Look, this is the guy that made his entire super villain team wear booty shorts

Feral Family Friend💖05/03/2020

He is an Ass Man

Marinette: Why are you so obsessed with butts

Marc: I'm GAY


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This has been copy\pasted from a discord for easy archival purposes. As such, this is not a fanfiction and is not formatted like one. If an actual fanfiction based on this idea exists, a link will be posted below.

Feral Family Friend💖05/04/2020

Ok we keep sayin Marc is the dramatic crazy one, but Nath, who is related to Jack Spicer in this au, also has his own flair for Dramatic

because Jack is ABSALOUTELY that extra and it's gentetic

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/04/2020

I saw like one video of him and your right

Feral Family Friend💖05/04/2020

Plus, Nathaniel is an artist and when have you ever met an artist that wasn't Like That on some level?

Cheshire05/04/2020

Oh, my goodness.... they’re James and Jesse....

Feral Family Friend💖05/04/2020

We mentioned that they switch miraculous now and then to mitigate the Butterfly Insanity

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/04/2020

Have you only JUST looked at the pins?

Didn't we change how the side effect worked?

Feral Family Friend💖05/04/2020

I forgot there's too much of this

but Butterfly Nath's Akuma's are very noticable

Cheshire05/04/2020

I thought the pin was just a funny joke about them not being very evil bad guys....

Feral Family Friend💖05/04/2020

They're flashy, dramatic, and there's always glitter or reflective material SOMEWHERE

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/04/2020

We never did anything with the Roomba fighting ring and now I'm sad

Feral Family Friend💖05/04/2020

HawkNath: snorts Gabriel thought he was a designer. I'll show HIM good akuma designs....

it's never too late to make a roomba fighting ring

Some kids who are really into the superheroes\the comics Marc and Nath draw started the Roomba Ring as a joke, painting the roombas as different heroes or akumas

but the boys hear about it, and THEN tell the heroes and they all randomly show up sometimes

Chatnoir would, at least

Wearing a bad disguise

"$20 on Ladybug"

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/04/2020

It's just him with one of those big nose glasses

Feral Family Friend💖05/04/2020

YES

maybe a silly hat

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/04/2020

Top hat

Feral Family Friend💖05/04/2020

he always bets on the Ladybug Roomba and no one else

not even his own

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/04/2020

The Hawkmoth Roomba is just Marc squatting on a Roomba and hitting the others with his cane

Feral Family Friend💖05/04/2020

HAH!

That's cheating though!

They have knives strapped to them and balloons, and they win by popping the other roomba's balloon

Cheshire05/04/2020

He can put his daughter on the roomba, instead. No one will say no to her puppy dog pout.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/04/2020

Oh my god

Feral Family Friend💖05/04/2020

Then the world will now Hawkmoth has a kid

unless he shows up as Famous Comic Author Marc Anciel-Kurtzberg

Cheshire05/04/2020

He probably would of it meant he’d win

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

Ok so I'm bored so I'm throwing some head canons into this Au

are they head canons if it's YOUR Au?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

it's just the AU canon

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

Nadja: At midnight the following file was leaked to Paris by someone using the username "Rabitch", leaving Paris baffled to whether the information is truly form the villain organisation

Rules of L.E.G., by Mayura

1) No one other than Hawkmoth is to have long term connection to the Butterfly Miraculous due to the personality changing affects

2) No more trying to Akumatize a Kwami, it doesn't work Moth

3) No Striptease, no, not even to fuck with MDC

4) Under no circumstance is an "UWU Akuma" to be created never again....

5) The Dragon Miraculous contains Fafnir's Amok, no touching it

6) We not bringing back Miracle queen because "That bitch LR looked at AA funny"

7) L.E.G. Funds are not to be used for Spa days... that means you Fafnir

7.2) You are not immune to rule 7 Wasp

8) "Research" is not a valid reason to look into necromancy

9) We are not going to try and Recruit Pegasus, I don't care if your computer is broken Wasp

10) The Kwami are too always have food stocked if needed

11) The Kwami are not allowed to break into houses for food at night, you can't be recorded, the food can

12) Fafnir is not allowed to use his Miraculous to run around the city carrying [REDACTED]

12.2) Fafnir is definitely allowed to run around the city carrying [REDACTED] 

[LAST EDITED--Bunnix]

13) Fafnir is to leave a recite for all "Shiny objects" No one is to question where Fafnir got his horde from, especially Mayura

[LAST EDITED--Fafnir]

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

ejduhs amazing

WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE UWU AKUMA

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

Mayura: we don't talk about the UWU Akuma!

I'll probably make more of these later

Feral Family Friend💖

pinned 

a message

to this channel. 

See all the pins.

05/06/2020

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

Oh good, now I can just edit rules on

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

is L ladybug or Lila

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

Lila

M is Mari

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

Oh I thought it was Marc

why would a striptease by messing with Marintte?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

Because it's Luka running around in basically no clothes and she has to fight that

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

OH "Striptease" was an akuma?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

YES

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

I though that they were just like, randomly taking off their clothes

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

Search Striptease into the tag

Also no one has commented on Rabitch yet and I am disappointed

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

how in the world did I miss\forget that conversation

and good pun?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

Thank you

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

I'm assuming it's Alix messing with them

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

Yep

She's leaking their rules to the internet

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

I made more Rulez

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

REDACTED

is it Miriam?

On that note, Miriam is old enough to be in school. How does THAT work

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

So what I was going for is that since it's Alix, she doesn't have to leak the rules from the Present, so she just redacted any names people shouldn't know yet

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

Miriam: Papa can I have friends over after school?

Marc, looking around their evil vilain lair house:....No sweetie

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

What are you talking about? Miriam totally lives at that nice bakery where her grandparents work....you can't prove her wrong

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

Tom and sabine are her grandparents?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

I mean, honorary?

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

fair

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

With the whole Marc Mari cousin thing

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

Marinette babysits

While her parents tease her about the dreaded "when are YOU going to make us some grandbabies?"

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

Grunkle Tom and Graunt (Pronounced Grant) Sabine

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

Tom: Your cousin has a daughter already

Marinette: Marc is married and adopted his daughter

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

You know what the best part is? Sig was literally made, so if Miri hears the jokes, she might assume Mari can literally make a grown up child

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

just skip the baby phase all together

heck, Miriam was young enough when they found her maybe she thinks she was born that way too

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

Pthhh

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

oh no

Miriam: My brother was made using a feather :DDD

The other kids at school: ???

Feral Family Friend💖05/06/2020

Miriam: Daddy how come you and papa didn't give me cool powers like Siggy?

Nath: Uhhh

Not to worry, Uncle Jack is more than happy to infect her with his love of robotics and engineering

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/06/2020

Miriam: so where DO people get kids from

Marc: welp, When Nooroo and Duusu get Daddy very drunk, and say "you can't do that Marc, it's IMPOSSIBLE", you get Sigurd

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/07/2020

Marc, drunk: Nath..Your hair...It's so r e d

Nath: Take your time

Marc: Has your hair always been that red?

Nath: yes, yes it has

Marc, tearing up: Incredible

Feral Family Friend💖05/08/2020

Heroes: whispering to themselves this has to be some kind of trick

Heores: He's acting like he's not even evil

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/08/2020

HawkMarc: what exactly do you think villains do when not robbing banks?

Feral Family Friend💖05/08/2020

Heroes: Plot to rob more banks? Torture civilians? Count their money and laugh like Ebenezer Scrouge?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/08/2020

HawkMarc: sure, that wouldn't get boring after week one...

Feral Family Friend💖05/08/2020

Nathyura comes in: Ladybug and Chatnoir are on their way

Heroes: Hah! We'll have you soon!

nathyura: I call them on YOU because you're breaking and entering

Heroes: What

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/08/2020

Nathura: you broke into a legally owned building with no proof or legal authority, what were you expecting?

Feral Family Friend💖05/08/2020

LB and CN are very tired and try to patiently explain that Hawkmarc and Nathyura are not really bad guys and most of their stunts are for show but the heroes are dumb so LB is like "Fine. They're reformed villains and they work for us now" to which the heroes are like ah yes, slavery carry on

College Sibling (Web)05/08/2020

Nathura: Now leave, you're scaring the kids.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/08/2020

This is reminding me of those delicious justice league salt fics, love it

Feral Family Friend💖05/08/2020

hero stereo types based on the comics from the like, 60's to early 90's are the best

because before things like quality and plot were normal in comics this kind of mindset was what heroes had

it's okay if I do bad things because I'm a hero, therefore they are good things

but a man turning to crim to feed his famliy? Lock him away forever

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/08/2020

this "bad guys aren't really bad" thin has me thinking.

In The Emperor's New Groove, was anyone else rooting for Izma or was it just me? Kuzko was a terrible leader

Feral Family Friend💖05/08/2020

Yzma was worse

That one line about "hey my family needs food" "well you should have thought about that before you became PEASENTS" is all I need to know to hate her

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/08/2020

on another note, the good guys doing bad shit and calling it good? That was kinda why Batman exists in the first place. IIRC< Batman was a rebellion against that idea because Batman was more likely to save a villain from a millionaire than save the millionaire from the villain. As Bruce, he constantly went out of his way to find the root cause of why some people turned to crime and fix that, usually by getting them a job or support.

Feral Family Friend💖05/08/2020

Which is great and a lot of people forget that about batman

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/08/2020

RIGHT

Feral Family Friend💖05/08/2020

godamn new 52

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/08/2020

I hate when people make him "scary man who will beat you"

He's scary man who cares goddamn it!

Feral Family Friend💖05/08/2020

FUCKING NEW 52

"well we want our stories to be darker and grittier because that's what people want. I mean look how populat batman is-" No!

batman is popular because despite how shit things are, there's always hope

Batman is that hope

The things can be better, that PEOPLE can be better

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/08/2020

Dick: Bruce, Where do babies come from?

Bruce: The orphanage.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

Sigurd: I've only slept 9 hours in the past 4 days and am on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Sigurd: bites into his cellphone

Sigurd:...

Sigurd: This isn't a bagel

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

Chloe: How dumb does he think we are?

Marc: Sometimes Nathaniel leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list.

Feral Family Friend💖05/11/2020

pffft

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

I refuse to believe Sig isn't a god damn disaster, he was created from Marc

Feral Family Friend💖05/11/2020

I was thinking he inherited Nath's Bipolar (because it is a heritable condition) and was on a manic period for the sleep loss

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

Cant really inherit it if Marc just magicked out a Teenager

Feral Family Friend💖05/11/2020

but it IS magic, and if he's supposed to be Marc and Nathaniel's child...

Like, if Marc made him with that in mind, would the magic take that into account?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

There was nothing in mind, Marc unified the two miraculous, did a thing, fucked up and gained a kid

Feral Family Friend💖05/11/2020

Then with that logic, why should he inherit any of Marc's DNA\traits?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

....you raise a good point, my logic was that since the magic was tied to Marc it just kinda defaulted to him and made a "human"

Feral Family Friend💖05/11/2020

If that's so, everyone has been writting Mayura's Ladybug wrong. Buggette would have Nathalie's personality

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

Oh my god that would be amazing

Feral Family Friend💖05/11/2020

ALSO ALSO the butterfly at least works with people's desires yeah? So Marc would have had to have a desire to create a child, and the natural thought process would be that he would want a child by his husband

unless he was on that shipping crack and made a Ladynoir love child

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

When you put it that way him having some Nath traits does make sense

Feral Family Friend💖05/11/2020

Speech: 100

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

So it just occurred to me

Sig is a Sentikuma right? So wouldn't he have the Miraculous level strange just naturally?

Feral Family Friend💖05/11/2020

Sounds legit

Since he has the dragon miraculous, he hordes things

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

Absolutely

Feral Family Friend💖05/11/2020

He see's something shiny and just sits and stares at it for an hour straight

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

Chloe: oh? Good looking necklace you have there

Sigurd: thanks, got it yesterday 

Nadja, on TV: in other news, a local jewellery store was broken into last night

Chloe:.....

Sigurd: I can explain-

Chloe: you broke into a jewellery store and you didn't invite me!

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/11/2020

that's it that's their entire relationship

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

Nathaniel: this villain thing is all just an act

Fafnir and Wasp robbing a bank: what! We couldn't hear you!

Feral Family Friend💖05/11/2020

Uncle Jack: Not even a year old yet and already committing crime. I'm so proud!

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/11/2020

Marinette: I thought....you guys were acting

Nath: I did too

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

Nathaniel: huh, pretty good date

Marc: yep

Nathaniel:...Marc, who's watching the kids?

Marc:.....

Nathaniel:...Marc-

Meanwhile

Chloe: Ok, now say it back to auntie Chloe

Miriam: Queen Wasp is better then Ladybug!

Chloe: Good girl

Sigurd: Amused Dragon Noises

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

So apparently I can only out so many letters in a message so I add a bunch of rules that god deleted

I am sad

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/11/2020

oof

make a second one and we can pin that

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

14) "Gay panic" is no longer a valid reason to call a meeting, between Fafnir and Wasp we've had 8 this week

15) Wasp, you are not allowed to buy a "Diamond throne", you already have a gold one

15.2) Fafnir you're not allowed one either

16) The "Pun Noir" incident never happened, and any evidence saying otherwise is to be destroyed

17) Fafnir you can't turn into a dragon, stop telling MAK you can

17) just because you can turn into a dragon doesn't mean you should

18) Fafnir is a unique situation, stop telling Chat he can become a cat Moth, it's getting sad he hasn't realised your lying

19) Guys, stop leaving messages threatening LR, you're just giving her something new to get pity from

20) Fafnir is not allowed to call himself "Dovahkiin", we almost got sued last time

21) "AdriChat" is not a valid reason to have "ChloWasp" Fanfics made

The Youngest(TM) (UN)

pinned 

a message

to this channel. 

See all the pins.

05/11/2020

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

Thank ya UN

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/11/2020

yw!

So MAK is Miriam and LR is Lila, right?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

The code names are initials

So yes

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/11/2020

nice

Lila, reading this: they're from t h e m?-

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

So how does the rest of the cast react to the rules being leaked?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/11/2020

Adrien: YALL LIED TO ME?!

Nath: who the FUCK released these

Marc: Whistles

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

Marc: how was i suppose to know your not a sentimonster?

It was Bunnix

You can see she actually edited one of the rules

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/11/2020

Sig using Lightning dragon to recharge his phone

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/11/2020

Loud explosion from across the house

"Sig...What did we say about using Lightning dragon to charge your phone"

"...Not to use it."

"and what was that noise?"

"...Me using it."

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/12/2020

Marc, introducing him + Nath to people for the first 2 months of their marriage

Marc: Hi, I'm Marc! And this is my ex-boyfriend Nathaniel!

Nathaniel: ...We're husbands

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/18/2020

It just occurred to me that his Au has Low key salt Alya, and we never did anything with that

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/18/2020

Marc: I mean, come on. Let’s just hug it out. Come on! Hug it out!

L.E.G.: struggle into a group hug

Chloe: Who took my wallet?

Sig: no regrets.

College Sibling (Web)05/18/2020

sig no

Knight05/18/2020

Sig: Sig yes

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/18/2020

Nathaniel: this is just an act so the heroes can keep fighting crime

Fafnir: be Gay, do crime

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/18/2020

Responses to I love you

Sig: It be like that.

Marinette, Awkward laughing, finger guns

Marc: What an oof.

Nathaniel: Bad idea, I don’t recommend that.

Chloe: "No.”

Luka: I know.

Adrien: Uno reverse card.

Kagami: Don't do that

Lila: [INVALID]


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been copy\pasted from a discord for easy archival purposes. As such, this is not a fanfiction and is not formatted like one. If an actual fanfiction based on this idea exists, a link will be posted below.
> 
> WARNING, NSFW: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26635984 "if marriage is a dance, ours is a villainous tango" by Kopy_cat

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

So Lila is a rich reality tv star right?

So naturally she has to do what all rich people who think there important do

Run for mayor

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/27/2020

oh god it's female!Italian!Trump-

Feral Family Friend💖05/27/2020

if she's not a natural citizen, can she even run

legally?

Like if she wasn't born in Paris

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

Fox Miraculous mind fuckery, and fake documents

Feral Family Friend💖05/27/2020

seems legit

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

TV,Nadja: so, Miss Rossi, I heard you have an announcement for the city?

TV,Lila: why yes, oh people of this Great city, I shall be running for the privilege of serving as you're mayor

TV,Nadja: ...oh dear god

Mari:......

Tikki: um...Mari?

Mari:.......I'm gonna need a drink...

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/27/2020

Luka provides it

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

Mari just has a crate of wine in the basement with a sticky note on it "For when the bitch does something stupid"

Upon realising that Lila actually has a scary amount of support from her fans on the internet, Chloe tries to run against Lila

Her election lasted right up until someone noticed her last name

Marc's "Hawkmoth approved" twitter post did not help things

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/27/2020

god dang it Marc

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

Lila: I will enforce this cities laws, and purge this city of its criminal filth!

Crowd,Cheers

Chloe: are you people serious? SHES NOT EVEN FRENCH! Her entire Run is Illegal

Lila: Laws need to be bended to benefit the people of this great city!

Crowd,Cheers

Chloe:...you literally just said you would enforce them?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/27/2020

Chloe: I’m surrounded by idiots

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

Chloe: ok so what's the current polls

Sig: welp...were losing...I don't know either

Mari:...why is Sig you're advisor?

Chloe: Miriam wanted more money, stop asking stupid questions Mari, LILA IS WINING!

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

Marc: ok..so what ruins politicians?

Chloe: Sex tapes

Nathaniel: WOW, this went to 100 real fast

Chloe: Luk-

Luka: No

Chloe: Goddamn it Luka! I ask one thing from you!

Luka: I'm not having sex with Lila!

Marinette: well this has been very productive, BUT WE NEED A PLAN!

Feral Family Friend💖05/27/2020

make an akuma

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

To...to have sex with Lila?

Oh, the new plan

Yeah that makes more sense

Feral Family Friend💖05/27/2020

oh no, I meant to have sex with Lila

or to make a fake video or something

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

Oh so i was right

Feral Family Friend💖05/27/2020

Scandal just wants to get their scoop, anyway they can

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

I like how we went with Akuma rather then Sentimonster

Someone's still has to have sex with her

Feral Family Friend💖05/27/2020

They could follow Lila around and secretly film everything she does and post it

Well if she's super rich and popular she probably has a list of guys willing to throw themselves at her feet whenever

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

True

Feral Family Friend💖05/27/2020

Just gotta wait for her to make a booty call

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

Somehow the video makes Lila more popular

She seems more human to the people

Feral Family Friend💖05/27/2020

Marc cries

He had to watch his akuma get the footage

for nothing\

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

Mari: I might actually have to kill her

Chloe: "Ladybug beats Mayor to death" more at 11

Meanwhile

Sigurd: logical plans have failed, now is the time for black magic

Miriam: this seems like a bad idea

Sigurd: Miriam, in my many weeks of life, I have learned one lesson, there is no problem that can't be solved with witchcraft 

Miriam: what about-

Sigurd: No. Problem.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

Miriam:....can't get you a date

Fafnir: listen here you little-

Feral Family Friend💖05/27/2020

Miriam is technically the older sister

by virtue of being 7 years old while Sig is like...three months

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

Sig is just half a year of experience and Marc dumbass-ry shoved in a teenage body

Feral Family Friend💖05/27/2020

when you put it that way

oh my god what have we created

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/27/2020

What are your talking about, my boy is perfect

A perfect disaster, but perfect

Feral Family Friend💖05/27/2020

Marc, 2020

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/29/2020

Are there any characters that are a terrible person who would do anything for money?

I mean, besides Lila

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/29/2020

thinks about it Ourside of Lila? No. I think even Chloe has limits. Maybe Sabrina though since Chloe was able to bribe her with accessories.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/29/2020

Oh my god I have it

XY

Lila working with Bob Roth for production on all her totally legit charity's

Lila using Bob for funding for her show when she left school, however due to XY loosing popularity and her audience start to think that Lila might be lying due to an article that was definitely not written by Marinette they do a marriage as a publicity stunt

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/29/2020

heard that plot idea before tbh

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)05/29/2020

Welp, shit

Back to the drawing board

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/01/2020

HawkMarc: attention Paris! It is Gay pride month, meaning I can not be arrested due to gay privilege!

Wasp: that's not a law!

HawkMarc:....I thought we won that court case?

Wasp: What The hell are you talking about? how drunk are you!

HawkMarc: ....yes

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/05/2020

Ok so a thought occurred to me

Alya is still kinda friends with Lila in this Au, so she's probably going to be in full "Lila giving me all the exclusive interviews" mode, meaning Mari is probably on the brink of madness from having to listen to how "Lila is going to do great things for Paris" all the time

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/05/2020

oh no :<

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/05/2020

Alya low-key being bitter that Nino still has his Miraculous but hers was taken

Who said that!

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/05/2020

dun dun

Marc being a chaotic shit and akumatizing her so she reveals she had the fox miraculous so now LB has an excuse not to give it back to her

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/05/2020

Oh no she had it stolen remember

Lila has it

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/05/2020

oh damn :/

u right u right

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/05/2020

Yep, part of Gabes plan that immediately failed

Adopted_Human (Artemis)06/05/2020

honestly the only reason marc wants nino to stay carapace is so he can be all "shellshock" then be like "haha surprise bubbler" to get those sweet turtle tears

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/05/2020

Marc: hey Mari, use Nino for the next attack

Marinette: is this so we can defeat the Akuma quickly, or so you can bully Nino?

Marc:.....yes

Adopted_Human (Artemis)06/05/2020

Marc: Honestly i just want his tears

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/05/2020

So since we're Alya world building today, I'm gonna say that the Ladyblog is still not trusted by Paris due to the Lila thing, and at worse is seen as a tabloid

Adopted_Human (Artemis)06/05/2020

tabloid all the way

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/05/2020

So even tho she is fact checking now, she can't get s job at any decent news sites and is lowkey having a mental break down

Adopted_Human (Artemis)06/05/2020

lb, cn, hawkmarc, and nathyura are lowkey happy

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/05/2020

I mean I did put Mari in a nightmare prison that one time

But does that really count

Adopted_Human (Artemis)06/05/2020

she also holds a smol grudge

i forgot how old they are in this au

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/05/2020

Early adult

Adopted_Human (Artemis)06/05/2020

ok

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/05/2020

Let's say 25-ish

has a tense relationship with Mari, is seen as a tabloid writer and is reminded of the fact she can never be a hero again every time she looks at her boyfriend

Alya:...this is fine...

Adopted_Human (Artemis)06/05/2020

Mari, very drunk and reading texts that alya sent her: hAHA THE BITCH FOLLOWER IS FUCKED

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/05/2020

Sigurd : I think we should have glow stick juice injected into our bones when we’re born so when we break them there’s a fun little surprise!

Miriam: what's the surprise?

Sigurd: blood poisoning!

College Sibling (Web)06/05/2020

Miriam: Dad what's blood poisoning-

Adopted_Human (Artemis)06/05/2020

Nath: what did sig do now-

College Sibling (Web)06/05/2020

Miriam explains

Adopted_Human (Artemis)06/05/2020

Nath: facepalm just look it up on wikipedia or something, i cant deal with this shit rn

College Sibling (Web)06/05/2020

Miriam is like, 5, Nath

Adopted_Human (Artemis)06/06/2020

rip-

i kind of imagine miriam's personality as :uwuknifu: 

that cat is miriam

College Sibling (Web)06/06/2020

yeah

Feral Family Friend💖06/06/2020

both children take after marc

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/07/2020

Chloe: I'll never understand why everyone makes there funeral depressing, If I die it's going to be a goddamn party

Nathaniel: I don't think they have a say over- wait did you day If?

Sigurd: Great! First party I'm invited to and it might not even happen

Adopted_Human (Artemis)06/07/2020

Miriam: m o o d

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)06/11/2020

Miriam: what does ‘take out’ mean?

Nathaniel: food.

Chloe: dating.

Marc: murder.

Sigurd: it can be all three if you plan carefully.

Adopted_Human (Artemis)06/11/2020

Chloe @ Marc and Nath:

tWo BrOs ChIlLiN iN a HoT tUb fIvE fEeT aPaRt CoZ tHeYrE nOt GaY

Feral Family Friend💖07/01/2020

Due to events in Spoilers, HawkMarc is now called MothCock when he combines the Peacock and Butterfly

Feral Family Friend💖

pinned 

a message

to this channel. 

See all the pins.

07/01/2020

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/01/2020

Approved

The Youngest(TM) (UN)07/01/2020

Amazing

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/01/2020

Ok so, Mayor Lila, what does she do

I need ideas people

Adopted_Human (Artemis)07/01/2020

fuck chloe and marinette over

for bullshit reasons

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/01/2020

Well yes, but how

Adopted_Human (Artemis)07/01/2020

frame them for a crime

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/01/2020

Tells Alya she thinks there working for Volpina but has no proof

And because the city is idiots everyone lowkey hates them now, or at least is cautious of them

They get tied to a super villain AND Mari has to know Alya did it

Eldest Son (Pyro)07/01/2020

Get the bakery shut down

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/01/2020

Mari would literally kill her

And I can't let Lila die yet, she's my only antagonist

Adopted_Human (Artemis)07/01/2020

can i write lila's death scene pls

Eldest Son (Pyro)07/01/2020

Mari can't do shit to Mayor Lila

Close the bakery down

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/01/2020

Fuck it, we need more angst, so what does she tell the public, because it kinda looks suspicious for a mayor to shut a random bakery down for no reason

Eldest Son (Pyro)07/01/2020

They where a front for drugs

Or some other bullshit crime

Maybe something about heath standards

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/01/2020

Money laundering?

That's usually cash based businesses

Eldest Son (Pyro)07/01/2020

Health standards bs and money laundering are both good options.

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/01/2020

Yep

Eldest Son (Pyro)07/01/2020

Btw what is this for?

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/01/2020

Just adding more plot to the tab

Kinds ended on Lila running for mayor, then we moved on to other Aus

College Sibling (Web)07/01/2020

Are they gonna say MothCock infront of the little lady

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/01/2020

His name is clearly M.C. What do you mean?

Eldest Son (Pyro)07/01/2020

Mothcock lmao

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)07/01/2020

@👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow) Mayor Lila makes a law to run by the city council that you need to have a license to make clothes for people for sale in Paris, and then makes the license a huge PITA to get. This would fuck over Marinette specifically

Adopted_Human (Artemis)07/01/2020

,,,

theres still the bakery

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)07/01/2020

right, but it would fuck over Marinette and destroy her dream

destroy something that means a lot to her and ensures she'll never be anything more than a baker's daughter

Adopted_Human (Artemis)07/01/2020

ohh tru

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)07/01/2020

it's evil

it'll crush her spirit

Adopted_Human (Artemis)07/01/2020

mari finna murder lila-

Knight07/01/2020

Why doesn't Marc (without telling anyone) just make it so Lila got in to an accident

Don't kill her but maybe some damage

Adopted_Human (Artemis)07/01/2020

y e e e e e s

The Youngest(TM) (UN)07/01/2020

Nathaniel stops him because morals

Feral Family Friend💖07/01/2020

The bakery just haaapens to be on a city block the city has commissioned for "revitalization" aka they're going to tear down all the buildings and extend the park and\or build a community center or something

cities do this all the time where people live, and it is get out or be crushed when the bulldozers come

Knight07/02/2020

without telling anyone

Feral Family Friend💖07/02/2020

people get eviction notices becasue they have to by law recieve at least 30 day notice, but they don't have a choice in moving

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/02/2020

The night after Lila won, the area where her penthouse is suffered a blackout

definitely wasn't Fafnir you can't prove anything Mari

Feral Family Friend💖07/02/2020

Hawkmarc and nathyura help. Arson against an elected official is a fun family activity

Adopted_Human (Artemis)07/02/2020

it is

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/03/2020

I'm just picturing Miriam holding a match while everyone cheers her on

Marc_Anciel_Fan (Nyx)07/03/2020

Baby's first arson!

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/03/2020

Pthh

College Sibling (Web)07/03/2020

yes

College Sibling (Web)07/03/2020

Sorry that Miriam is baby

Feral Family Friend💖07/03/2020

why

College Sibling (Web)07/03/2020

She’s too cute

Adopted_Human (Artemis)07/03/2020

Marinette in the background: n o

College Sibling (Web)07/03/2020

Also chaotic dads

Feral Family Friend💖07/03/2020

Marc and Nathaniel, called in for a parent teacher conference because Miriam tackled a boy to the ground and ripped out a fist full of his hair

Marc: What happened?

Miriam: He kept calling my friend ugly, so I made HIM ugly!

Marc: omg that's my girl

Teacher:....Mr. Kurtzberg-Anciel, we do not encourage this kind of behavior at this school-

Nathaniel: face palming but also secretly proud

College Sibling (Web)07/03/2020

I feel bad for the teacher

Feral Family Friend💖07/04/2020

Miriam: I'm a cat!

Nathaniel: Yeah baby?

Miriam: Yeah! The kids at school said that you adopt cats out of the trash, and Siggy says that's where you and Daddy found me!

nathaniel:

Nathaniel: SIGURD!!!!!

Sigurd: creeps in because he knows that tone of voice means he's in trouble Yes Papa?

Nathaniel: Why did you tell your sister we found her in the TRASH?

Sigurd: sweating bullets because he knows there is NOTHING he can possibly say to get out of this

He's grounded

College Sibling (Web)07/04/2020

Sigurd fucked up

👑 Kage-No-Okami 👑 (Shadow)07/04/2020

He would

  
  



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